Lifting the (Writing) Bar by Ruth Bonetti

Confess I’m challenged. After a lifetime writing nonfiction my foray into fiction forces me to explore character arcs and hero journeys. Sure, I’ve long known these concepts, but I’m stretched to action them. To show-not-tell.

 The editor of an anthology has challenged me to lift my game. 

‘Please take onboard this feedback and resubmit.’ 

 

After editing thirty-odd Mosaic of Grace submissions, I hastily resubmitted my rework. It was apparent my brain was fried. But I’m grateful that she sent back my story several times, for objective eyes see what our own misses. 

 

Anne Hamilton had taken the lion share of editing the first two collections, Palette of Grace and Symphony of Grace, even rewriting some stories. As 2-i-c editor, I felt guilty that thus far my easy ride had been to rubber stamp her decisions. Last year Anne returned from an interstate tour exhausted and unwell. So I hesitated to moot a third anthology. 

 

‘Sleep and pray on it first.’ But I couldn’t resist adding, ‘Remember those writers whose confidence blossomed since Palette of Grace publication? Our collections eased them through the pain threshold into print. Isn’t this our goal, to offer such opportunities? Promise, I’ll take the active role to save your time and effort.’ 

 

So many submissions! Thirty contributors, some of whom submitted several pieces. I realised that editing is rewarding but challenging. Sometimes difficult. For some borderline instances, I enlisted second opinions from Rosemary New as beta reader. A few text exchanges directed her to Review>Track Changes, which she embraced. Her insightful responses gave me tactful angles to suggest how writers might improve stories. By the time our tired brains reached final decisions, Rosie had earned her way up to co-editor. Justifiably.

 

‘Sorry, I can’t come to tonight’s service,’ I told a colleague who’d submitted to Mosaic of Grace. ‘I must do another rewrite of a story.’ Did I overwhelm him with a flurry of brainstorming to bring his character to life? ‘What’s the back story? How can you express his culture in senses like taste, smell, clothes? Describe!’ 

 

Subtext: ‘Show don’t tell’. 

Sub-sub-text: ‘It’s not just you—it’s me and all of us! I teach what I needed to learn.’

 

He took a while to respond but his final was far more engaging. 

 

Writers enjoy a wonderful opportunity: expert editing, free publication with no submission charge, an entrée into print with a couple of free copies thrown in. What a great deal! As her ministry, Anne (‘Annie’) shoulders all costs of design and printing. 

 

Each anthology, I buy fifty copies to offer as a fundraiser at church. Birthday, Mother’s and Father’s Day presents are at the ready. Contributors can also support this ministry by purchasing additional copies at 45% off the RRP. This not only defrays the cost of publication, it brings us closer to the goal of being able to release a family of brick-kiln labourers from slave bondage in Pakistan.

 

I’d hesitated to ask friends and colleagues to rewrite, but was encouraged by that anthology editor’s example. She insisted that I cull teenage slang and portray the senses using active verbs—aspects I knew but needed to put into practice. We teach what we need to learn. With the help of my trusted home editor, Rosie. We are blessed to form working relationships with fellow authors!

 

Contributors Rev. Robin Payne, Ruth Bonetti and Terry Hatfield 

By asking similarly of other writers, we encourage fledgling authors to embrace the learning process and lift their game as writers. Together, we can all polish our gifts to greater glory. Working together, we, the fellowship of writers lift each other up. What a blessing!

Mosaic of Grace will launch on May 2, at CASQ Don’t miss it! 

Christian Authors Showcase Qld returns for the fourth year —an inspiring program awaits us! 

ROCHELLE STEPHENS of Rhiza Press is keynote speaker and we look forward to her wealth of experience and insight. As traditional publisher who has gained respect in the mainstream market, she knows the Kids Lit to YA marketplace inside out. 

 

Who could forget Grammar Grinch? His/her cousin Grammar Grouch will return. Speakers will be announced by fanfare but in a tight two-room program, they will be hauled off with the shepherd’s crook. As is the norm in the popular Pop Up ops which means 90 seconds to tout your book(s)—(so start rehearsing NOW) and hope readers look for it on the book table. BOOK NOW!

We look forward to seeing you there! https://www.casq.online/event

RUTH BONETTI 

Ruth’s career in classical music became a passport to the world. Destiny led her to Sweden and Finland where she researched her grandfather's story and those of Finnish relatives, resulting in her award-winning Midnight Sun to Southern Cross trilogy (historical biography/memoir). 

Her passion to chronicle fighters against oppression has opened an exciting new vista, researching Finnish, Estonian and Russian history. Ruth’s vision is to write a series about Musicians Who Changed History, as she resonates with the healing power of music in the lives of those who fought against oppression.

Ruth's many publications (by Oxford University Press and her imprint Words and Music) cover both historical biography, and titles to motivate and inspire confident performance of words and music. 

The Interaction of Characters and Their Settings

 

Have you ever read a book that had some lovely passages of description, but you still wanted to skip over them? You might be the kind of person who prefers action, and you want to get on with the story rather than knowing the intricacies of Aunt Muriel’s petunias. But another reason is that the description is sitting all by itself and not interacting with poor Aunt Muriel.

I was a social psychology lecturer for 25 years, and environmental psychology was one of the topics I taught. In a nutshell, environmental psychology looks at how people and settings co-influence one another.

• People affect natural and built environments in both positive and negative ways.
• Natural and built environments affect people in positive and negative ways.
• Unlike the boy band, these effects do not just go in One Direction. They interact with each other, such that people affect the environment, which in turn affects people, who in turn affect the environment and so on. (And yes, I realise One Direction has broken up.)

So, what has all of this got to do with writing fiction? Think about it in terms of your setting. Are your characters interacting with their settings or are you just telling us what’s in the setting? Let me give an example.

Interacting With Settings

An Example

I read a manuscript extract in which a woman came home and went into the kitchen to make dinner. The author then gave a long paragraph describing the kitchen. She had really put a lot of thought into it and had excellent skills at technical writing. The walls weren’t just blue or yellow, they were particular shades, like the types you would find on a painter’s chart. Kitchen utensils and pots were hanging from hooks on the ceiling. There was a clear description of the layout of the room, including a window over the sink that looked out across the yard.

However, there was just one problem. The description was static. It was as if the character stood to one side while the description of the setting played out. There was no interaction between the character and the setting. 

Show, Don't Tell

Some good old ‘show don’t tell’ would have gotten across the same information. Instead of the author telling us that pots were hanging from the ceiling, the character could reach for one of the pots and put it on the wooden bench. She could open up the pantry cupboard and move aside the cereal boxes to find the pasta. She could go over to the sink and look out the window while rinsing the cutting board she needs to use. That kind of writing is much more engaging than simply giving us a description. By showing the character interacting with the environment, we're not only getting an idea of the setting, but we're also learning about the person.

Avoid Information Drops

Another advantage of having your character interacting with the setting is that you can drop information in a bit at a time when needed, rather than doing the dreaded info dump that encourages a reader to skip over the boring bits. We don't need to know that Grandpa's hunting knife is in the kitchen drawer until someone uses it to carve the Sunday roast.

Setting as Character

In some books, the environment plays such an important role that it is like a character in itself. For example, Susan May Warren set about half of her novel The Way of the Brave on the snowy slopes of Denali in Alaska, where the characters had to fight the elements to stay alive. If you write biblical fiction, think about what it would have been like for Noah and his family to spend so long in the Ark while waiting until the ground was habitable again. Or what would it have been like for the Israelites to spend 40 years in the wilderness? How would you have liked living in a tent with your family for all those years?

Questions to Ponder

Now think about your current work-in-progress.

• Are your characters riding the boundary of their drought-stricken farm to check the livestock? Show us the desolation of the land and the riders.
• Are two people walking through the CBD of a large city? Maybe the traffic is so loud that they have trouble hearing each other, so they have to shout or move to a quieter location.
• Are they stuck in a crowded elevator? Give us a sense of the claustrophobia and panic as it sets in. Is he loosening his tie? Is she thumping the call button?
• Do they go fishing and toss their empty drink cans into the river? Or do they spend Saturday mornings doing litter parade at the beach?
• Do they rearrange the tables and chairs in a coffee shop so that everyone in their group has plenty of room, or do they squish up so there’s four in a booth that usually seats two?

There is a myriad of possibilities, but whatever decisions you make, be sure that your descriptions are advancing character or plot. Don’t just have it rain for the sake of it. Have it rain so we can see how the caterer copes with the quickly rejigged garden party, or so the hero and heroine have to stand close together under a tree to stay dry.

Do you have examples of novels that have done a particularly good job of showing the person interacting with their environment? I’d love to hear your examples.

Author Bio

Nola Lorraine (aka Nola Passmore) has a passion for faith and social justice issues, and loves weaving words that inspire others with courage and hope. Her inspirational historical novel Scattered was published in 2020, and she also co-edited the Christian charity anthology Glimpses of Light with Jeanette O’Hagan. She has more than 150 short publications, including fiction, poetry, devotions, true stories, magazine articles and academic papers. She and her husband Tim also run a freelance writing and editing business, The Write Flourish. She’d love to connect with you through her website: www.nolalorraine.com.au

Photo Sources

Author photo by Wayne Logan at WRLPhoto.

Surfing dog by StarFlames on Pixabay.

Will this scene offend my reader? Jo Wanmer's dilemma.

As Christian writers, in editor mode, there are many questions that challenge us and our manuscripts. Today, I want to look at one set of those questions. 

'Will this content be acceptable to my readers?'

'Will this passage offend? ’

‘Should I draw a veil over the stark reality of this scene?'

The answer is determined by another question. Who are my readers? 
I write for the mature adult market, for mostly women who are interested in seeing life’s big issues discussed and resolved. But am I writing for the Christian market?

I try to write every word with the writer’s mantra, ‘show, don't tell’ in mind. I can visualize the action as I write. The settings are so clear I know when the character turns right or left. My hope is the reader can see it as well. But I also want my reader to relate to, if not experience, the protagonist’s emotions, the raw pain and the deep joys. Here in lies my dilemma. In my efforts to 'show' is my writing still acceptable to the Christian market?

Recently I followed an interesting, online post discussing acceptable content in Christian writing. Readers stated that, once offended by content, they will never read that author again. How concerned should I be about that comment? Can I afford to lose a section of my potential readership? 

Because the Christian readership in Australia is so small, should I try to be inoffensive to every sector of the market?  But if I write to satisfy the lowest common denominator, I fear my book will lose its impact. Surely it is tragic to gloss over the most compelling scenes, missing the opportunity for powerful writing, risking frustrating one half of my readership to avoid offending the other half.

Take for instance the tricky area of sexual abuse. Some readers don't want such obscenities to be mentioned, considering it unnecessary content for Christian fiction. Others can cope, providing the book only details the shaking of bushes in the park, or the resulting emotions. Francene Rivers, in her excellent book, ‘The Atonement Child’, shows a stranger grabbing the protagonist in the dark. The next scene is written from the police's POV. The reader is protected from the experience.  That method works well in this instance, but is it right for every occasion? 

 'A Novel Idea', a book of advice on writing inspirational fiction, tells the author to shut the bedroom door. Let the reader know what is happening, but please, spare the details. In others words, 'tell, don't show’. This is my dilemma. If we are honest, many of life's big struggles revolve around sexual issues. I want to be able to talk about them. I want my writing to bring God into these areas, bringing healing and wholeness. 

I believe we can go there without being explicit or obscene.  But where is the balance? 

Wendy Francis commented about this topic, when speaking at the launch of Though the Bud be Bruised.  She thanked me for showing her reality without leaving behind yucky feelings and images. This comment has been very helpful to me. 

A couple of years ago I wrote a short story for a competition. The setting was the year 2032 and the theme was social issues.  I told God I would enter if He gave me a really good idea. And He did. The story fell into my mind about two days before the deadline. The judges weren't impressed but I love the crazy, edgy story. It speaks of bravery, war, seduction and subterfuge. I sold a few rough copies at the book launch of Though the Bud be Bruised. Some people loved it, but another reader asked how I could call myself a Christian and write such content. She refused to read my book. Yet I know God was happy with that writing!

  

A few Christian readers don't want to read 'Though the Bud be Bruised' because it deals with sexual abuse. Many others have written letters thanking me for bringing healing to their lives. Of course, every reader makes their own choice, but it shows me, the writer,  that I can't keep everyone happy.

I have written a second book in the same genre as the first. 'El Shaddai' follows Milly's struggle to hold her family together after she is separated from Dan by a natural disaster of massive proportions.  There are life and death issues. Her adventures aren't sanctified or pretty. It exposes the raw reality of life and an active, relational God. 

But is it what my readers are looking for? My two committed Christian friends, who have read the first draft, love the story and have no objections to the content. Yet, I understand the risk a publisher will take to produce it.

Should I soften my writing to make the book safe for the Aussie Christian market? I've pondered this question long and hard. But I can't bear to weaken the powerful scenes, or remove the theme that relies on the graphic action. Having said that, I believe this book still 'shows' without leaving nasty images or feelings behind. 

Maybe I'm not a Christian writer but a Christian who writes for the general market. Maybe they will enjoy the story? God is not talked about much, but He is shown on almost every page. He has a lot to say. Maybe the world would like that?

So, my fellow writers, what should I do?

How do you navigate these questions? 

Jo Wanmer is a writer of challenging fiction. As she edits her second book, it's sequel is demanding attention, yet it is even more controversial. She lives in Brisbane with her long suffering husband, Steve, who never reads fiction.

She is so in love with her new book, that her good judgement has departed and she can't see its flaws! Hence she is looking for a limited number of critical readers for El Shaddai. If you are interested please contact her through the comments below or via Facebook..