Little Seeds, Big Clouds and a Clock About to Strike

Habits. Good habits. Bad habits. You need discipline to create good habits and discipline to destroy bad habits. 

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Discipline. How do you get it? Some people seem to be born with it. Others struggle to maintain it. And still others don’t much care one way or the other. Me?  It depends on the situation. Sometimes, I really just want to see if I can achieve a goal and discipline comes naturally. Other times, I just can’t seem to create that same sense of excitement and my discipline has heads for the hills on a long vacation. 

At the beginning of this year, January 1st to be exact, I decided to do a challenge. A 75 Day Challenge. 

THE 75 DAY CHALLENGE 

Morning Cardio workout

Afternoon strength workout 

Eat 850 calories

Drink 4 litres of water

Read 10 pages of a non fiction book

Every. Day. For a total of 75 days. 

Now I know what you’re thinking. ‘Are you insane?!’ Yes. Well, probably. But all the best people are, aren’t they?

When I heard about the challenge, at first I thought, ‘HA! Yeah right. I wouldn’t last a week!’ I’ve been suffering from a sore lower back for a good year now and thought I’d maybe get through the first three days before pulling my back out again. Then I’d be in bed for a week and back to the Physio. But what if I focused on exercises that didn’t use my back and supported it as much as possible? Was I really going to let my fear of failing and getting hurt get the better of me?

My fear. How many times has it beat me down? It doesn’t feel like that at the time, does it? It keeps me safe. I mean, I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to fail.  But what if I succeed, then what do I do? It’s the unknown that my fear keeps me safe from. It’s nice. It’s comforting, but all those big ideas, all the story outlines I jot down for when I have time to come back to them … they just wait. They gather dust. So what my fear has done, is kept me stationary. Never growing, never evolving into something more than what I am. 

So, what’s the point?

I sat down with a lovely couple about a month ago and we were discussing the current issues - the pandemic, emergency mandates, talks of war. We moved to Revelation and how everything looked pretty grim. They said they believed we had maybe another ten years left before the Rapture.

‘Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you correctly. Did you say ten years?’

I hadn’t misheard. Now, don’t get me wrong. No one knows when it’ll happen, but just think about it for a moment. Ten years. That’s all you have left. One hundred and twenty months. Five hundred and twenty weeks. Three thousand, six hundred and fifty days. Eighty seven thousand, six hundred hours. And so on, and so on. But you get it. Ten years left of your life.

Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

I don’t know about you, but should I even be bothering to do a Bachelor Degree that will take me six years to complete part time? And all those story ideas I have, do I just give up on them? It has taken me over a decade to write the story for one of my ideas, what do I do with the other thirty two I have outlined on my computer? All the other things I wanted to do, wanted to see … I don’t know, but ten years doesn’t seem like enough time, especially when procrastination and anxiety are such good friends of mine.

I just don’t know … but then again, I think I do.

It starts with a little seed.

Without a little water, a little dirt, a bit of sunshine, little seeds won’t grow. But if you put in a little effort and don’t mind getting your hands dirty, that seed will sprout roots and habits will grow. 

First things first. Show up. Nothing ever gets done if you don’t first begin. This builds habits. Things you can improve upon. You cannot improve if you don’t have a foundation.

Those big clouds you see in the sky above you. The ones you’ve imagined into dragons and castles and mushroom houses; they are your spark. They are the reason you want to write their stories. Don’t let fear stop you. Don’t let your doubts get the better of you. They are your past, not your present you. You woke up this morning as a blank canvas. Don’t let the negativity of yesterday paint the opportunities of today.

Today is day zero of my 75 Day Challenge. For the most part, I accomplished a lot. I will admit, the ten pages became a little too overwhelming - exhaustion and a heavy non fiction book do not mix well - and I didn’t continue with this aspect of the challenge. But I’ve now built up a few good habits and who knows what the next seventy five days bring. Even if the clock is about to chime - today, tomorrow, one year form now, ten years, twenty … I have an opportunity to learn more, see more, do more and it doesn’t matter how much I accomplish,  as long as I show up in the moments that matter and know God has everything in control.

Kirsten Hart (aka A.T. Richmond) is a born and bred Territorian who moved to Queensland and had no choice but to stay after her assimilation into the Toowoomba's infamous, collective known as Quirky Quills. Since then, A.T. Richmond has had two stories published. Stone Bearer, appears in Glimpses of Light and Tedious Tresses, in the As Time Goes By Mixed Blessings anthology. She is currently writing a fantasy trilogy.