Wednesday, May 22, 2013
It's not about me
There I was trying to get my dinner started. I was also about to wave goodbye to my man as he went to the gym that evening. I hurriedly wiped my hands on my kitchen towel and scurried to the front door to kiss him goodbye. As Shan reached the door however, he stopped short. He’d forgotten his bottle of water. Oh! I went back to the kitchen while he filled his bottle with water. A minute later he was off. I left my lentil curry gurgling merrily on the stove as I returned to the front door.
He kissed me goodbye and walked out. But…. a minute later, he turned back again. What was it this time? His phone. Oh. I shook my head slowly. Hmmm…! This time I waited at the front door till he returned with his phone. I smiled and waved goodbye to my hard working man as he reversed out of the garage. Then I rushed back to the lentil curry on the stove before it overflowed.
Does that sound familiar? It happens often in our home. Not just when my husband goes out but when I go out as well. Many times I’ve had an annoyed son open the door for me when I’ve had to return quickly (after I’ve gone out), because I have forgotten something. As irritating as it is to him when I do that – I’m sure he knows that I’m not doing it on purpose. And likewise – of course I know my husband doesn’t do it to rub me the wrong way either. He’s a busy man with much to remember – so it’s not surprising that he forgets a few things now and then. After all, we are both on the right side of 50!
It makes me ponder on other situations. Like when someone says something mean to me. Or treats me badly. I know that it’s often nothing to do with me. And all to do with them. Perhaps they had a bad day and they have taken it out on me. Or they are hurting over a difficult circumstance. And don’t realise how they sound. It’s a good idea not to take everything personally. Because very often, contrary to what it seems…. it’s not about me.
What about our writing? Do we take the ups and downs of a writer’s life too seriously? I’m sure I do. The rejection from a Publisher is not about me. But about my work which could improve. The seemingly harsh words from my critique group are said in love – to help me improve my writing – not to bring me down. The sparse number of likes or comments on my blog is not a rejection – simply that people have been too busy to read it. It’s not about me.
Recently after I’d posted my blog, I had lots of positive feedback from my blog contact list, 23 likes on the blog, 10 likes on Facebook….. all of which caused me to get dizzy with delight. I’d never had 23 likes on a post before. I must have done something right.
And so, the next week, I eagerly checked how many likes I’d got on my next blog post. Had be at least 10, right? Wrong. I had only 2 measly likes on my latest blog. I could not believe it. I felt sad for a little while. But after some thought and reflection, I started to laugh at myself. Perhaps it was a good thing I’d received only 2 likes that time. I’d asked God to keep me humble. Maybe He was answering that prayer.
I realised that I became so excited about those 23 likes that I’d forgotten my original motivation to write my blogs in the first place. It was to inspire, encourage and bless others. Who cared how many likes I had? If I had touched one heart or blessed one person it would be enough. It is not all about me. That’s for sure.
Am I puffed up and full of myself? As a Christian writer – it is not all about me. It is all about God. And His kingdom. Am I seeing His perspective? Or has the god of this world blinded me to seek for results that lift me up? Shouldn’t I rather look to please God and to walk in His ways? To follow His plans for me. It’s only too easy to get off track, isn’t it?
Am I doing what God requires of me? That is the question.
Writing is a big part of my reason for living. I love to write – to inspire, to encourage, to challenge, to bless. I hope I will publish lots of books; and become a Writer after God’s heart. But let me not forget… it is not about me. It is all about God. And His Kingdom.
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” Mathew 6:33
Anusha loves life. She is passionate about Jesus and the difference He has made in her life. Writing is one of the many things she loves to do. Invigorating walks on cold winter evenings, connecting with family and friends, writing contentedly at her computer, connecting with people, singing and making music, sharing the love of Jesus – these are some of her passions. Do drop in at her website to visit her – Dancing in the Rain. http://anusha-atukorala.webnode.com/