Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Who Let The Cows Out? Moo-Moo-Moo-Moo!

(Lynne Burgess is unable to post today, so I'm filling in for her. Hope you get better soon, Lynne!)

Yes, I know. That was a poor rendition of a pretty famous song.

I must confess, today it was me who let the cows out. You see, we live on a small property and have six, gorgeous, Dexter cows. We also have lots and lots of grass that needs to be mown.

Six cows and one sheep can eat a lot of grass. Hubby mows a lot of grass. So we came to the natural conclusion.

Let our four-legged, manure-making, automatic-mowing-machines out!

Yes. Brilliant idea.

We closed the front gate and put a padlock on it. Can't have cows wandering on a main road.

Made sure they couldn't hurt themselves on anything. Made sure fresh water was available.

Then it was time to let them loose.

You should have seen them. It looked like a bunch of prisoners escaping from a Federal Penitentiary. Cows kicking, sheep baa-ing and dogs barking. The noise was deafening.

Life was good. Cows were happy, hubby was happy, what more could I ask for?

I settled into my favourite chair, pulled out a book I needed to review and grabbed a Pepsi Max.

Yep, life was good.

Thirty minutes later and I got that creepy feeling. The one where you just know someone, somewhere is looking at you.

I turned my head...and there was Babette, nose pressed against the window looking at me.

Once I got over the shock and cleaned up the spilt Pepsi, I grabbed my phone and took a pic.

That's a photo of her above.

Isn't she the prettiest cow you ever saw?

So yes, it was me who let the cows out. Moo, moo, moo, moo.

Now I just have to work that scene into a story. And, considering I write suspense it won't be easy.

How would you include that scene into your current work-in-progress?


Lee Franklin lives in Western Australia on a small property. She loves her cows and has even been known to ask their opinion on story ideas. They're happy to listen to anything she says, as long as she's brushing their coat at the time!


  1. i have a goat in my current WIP, but cows not so much. But you could use it as someone is watching you, and you think it is just cows, but there is a person someone too. Just an idea.


  2. I love goats, Mel. I've always wanted some Nubians with their long, floppy ears. I don't particularly like Saanens, my sister had a couple and they jumped on the roof of my car and damaged it. They also have eerie, yellow eyes.

    I like your idea it's a good one for suspense writing. :)

  3. Lee, the cow is really an undercover robotic spy sent here to investigate whether human populations chew their faith long and hard enough to allow for proper digestion and adequate growth. The question is whether, under such investigation, our faith would stand the test?

  4. Science fiction cows, love it! Perhaps they come from the planet, Cowtopia, where cows are more faithful than humans and flatulence doesn't cause holes in the atmosphere!

    If only animals could talk, then again it's probably good they can't. It's bad enough they can outlast me in a staring contest, but to have my faith under constant scrutiny by animals as well as humans? Don't think I could handle it. LOL.

  5. Great post Lee! Wonderfully written too. Sounds like under that Publisher heart, there is a darn good writer waiting to come out? :) Thanks for your lovely dose of humour for the morning. Loved it. As for working it into a suspense story... I could think of a few ways of doing it! :) But then, that's another story. Hope the cows continue to chew and moo peacefully and productively as we speak! :)

  6. Thank you, Anusha! I love my cows as you can probably tell. Their chewing cud peacefully as we speak.

    Did you know cows can even go through post-natal depression? I didn't until Babette had Kidney, who has long since gone into our freezer.

    She can also unhitch an old fashioned gate with her tongue, and has been known to deliberately wait until hubby has to walk behind her, before letting her bladder or bowel go.

    God certainly has a sense of humour, just ask our animals! :)

  7. Oops...that should have said They're not their. Me thinks my fingers got ahead of my brain...again!

  8. It's the sort of gorgeous picture that could easily turn a person vegetarian.

  9. Hey Lee, just cos your cow is nice and cute in an cow sort of way doesn't mean it cant be in a suspense novel.
    heres my take the heroine is in hiding in a cabin (do we say cabin maybe it should be shack)its in the country. She thinks shes safe and out of danger when she feels a creepy sensation that shes being watched she looks up and there is a cow looking through the window at her. After she gets over the shock she goes to investigate when the cow moves and the bad man is there watching here.

  10. Great story Lee! It's great how real life stories can be used in our books!
    I have chooks looking through our glass door!

  11. I can outdo you all. I had lots of little white bodies munching on wood around my place. I wonder how I can work that into a story? Oh yes, maybe distraught heroine meets the terminator. I mean Exterminator!

  12. Our dog is always pressing her nose up against the glass like that, but I guess you kind of expect that from dogs. I love how much personality animals have once you get to know them - I love learning about horse personalities from my sister-in-law who is an equestrian trainer/rider. She has some funny stories that give me ideas for my novels. :)

  13. You know, Paula, when we first bought our cows I was worried that I wouldn't be able to eat them. Yet my freezer tells a different story. LOL I don't think I could eat Babette, but the others know when I get that hungry gleam in my eye, RUN!

    I'd like chooks, Lynne, but I'm always worried they'll bring snakes. Do you have any snake problems where you are?

    Sounds like you and Mel should team up, Jenny. That's Stephen King type of stuff. :)

    How horrible, Rita. I hope you have no more problems with those nasty little grubs.

    Totally agree with you, Amanda. I didn't realise cows had personalities until we got ours. They can be sulky, joyful and moody just like humans!

  14. Six cows and one sheep? Does the sheep know he's a sheep or does he think he's a cow? Or is he an undercover cow in disguise who is spying on Babette. Why didn't Babette take better care if the child? How could she allow her child to be dismembered and frozen. Who is the sheep reporting to? Oops. I think I just got a little carried away!

  15. LOL Jo, that's hilarious! I just had a great laugh for the start of the day. :)

  16. Lee... now I'm fighting jealousy. We lived in the south-west of WA for a bunch of years, many of them rural or semi-rural and I now get memory flashbacks at the rare smell of sheep manure or chook pellets. Our calling has put us in Sydney for a long season, but I hope one day it releases us to get mud on our boots and chase cows from our house paddock again. Thanks for the brilliant snapshot of country life.

  17. hmm now you've got me thinking.
    was there much slobber on your window??
    Imagine if it was a shop... in a quaint country town... that could make a funny scene... moo window shopping...

  18. Lee, love the photo of Babette! Thanks for your fun post :)

  19. I think Babette has the same identity crisis as my dog, Noodle – they think they’re part human!!!

  20. Don't know much about cows, except they look very lovable! But a brilliant writer friend once told me a story about a pig pen and a missing body which never saw the light of day once it got buried there. Those pigs!! They can hinder the homicide squad better than the mob. ;)

  21. Hi Lee,
    I just love the photo. No wonder you spilt your coffee.
    Jennifer Ann

  22. Hi Lee,
    Here's my first comment - better late than never:) I've been following all these wonderful posts from the inception of this blog (albeit in quick scan mode without time for comments) and enjoyed getting a glimpse of the authors and the variety of their personalities and writing styles. And, of course, I loved your story. Ah... country life, what bliss (most of the time). Thanks for the humour. It's been said, 'An apple a day...", but now I'm thinking, "A chuckle a day..."

  23. Lee I was channelling LIS books rather than Stephen King.

    oh I sent some friends over from goodreads they loved the story told it how funny it was but they didn't post.

  24. What an awesome picture - and story. I'm seeing one of those 'breadcrumb' moments where you creep up to the moment the cow is discovered to be the one watching. But in the lead-up the reader feels their skin begin to crawl thinking the antagonist is coming, a murder is going to occur, a maiming, a wait. Its just a cow. Breathe easy until the next breadcrumb.
    Am I making any sense?