Exploring Genre: Memoir

Memoir is one of my favourite genres to read, and I’m in good company, it seems. 

I did a quick google search for ‘best selling Australian books 2019’ as I wrote this article, and unsurprisingly, the first three books I saw were memoirs. 

The right memoir can do exceptionally well. Elizabeth Gilbert sold over four million copies of her Eat, Pray, Love, the story of her quest for meaning and inner peace across several continents. It was equal to Frank McCourt’s Angela’s Ashes, the story of a miserable Irish childhood. Another miserable childhood story, this time from the US, The Glass Castle, sold 2.7 million copies.

Why do we love to read other people’s real-life stories so much?

They’re a good read.

The best memoirs are well-written, with a distinctive voice and a strong story structure that has the beginning, middle and end that every work of fiction relies on. We follow the character through their challenge, quest or discovery, fight their battles with them, and marvel at their transformation at the end.

They give us true insight into other people.

Putting your hopes, dreams and flaws on a page for all to see can feel exposing for the memoir writer, but it’s a gift to the reader. We don’t know many people as well as we know ourselves. When you read someone’s heartfelt story, it’s an opportunity to intimately understand not only an individual, but humankind.

They allow us glimpses into situations we haven’t experienced.

I’ve never lived with drug-addicted parents, hiked a 1200-mile trail or travelled to a war zone to be a medical officer, but I’ve read the experiences of those who have. Their stories opened my eyes, moved me and challenged me. Most of us live safely in the suburbs; reading a memoir is a world-widening experience.

They teach without being didactic.

While I press the point home to my memoir students that writing their story is not the same as writing a sermon (ie. no lecturing!) it’s true nevertheless that readers will learn. Lessons are gained from the writer’s experiences and transformation. Anyone who has ever tried to teach a child—or an adult—will know that we all listen to a story more easily than a ‘you should’. By reading other people’s stories, we learn lessons for our own lives.

Types of memoirs

While it’s true that there are plenty of memoirs written about tragic childhoods, abusive marriages or terrible sicknesses, memoirs don’t have to be miserable. There are canine memoirs, eccentric-mother memoirs, travel and celebrity memoirs and a whole sub-genre based around the ‘My Year Of…’ concept. I’m thinking Julie and Julia, where Julie Powell decided to cook her way through the famed French cookery book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking; and Rachel Held Evans’ A Year of Biblical Womanhood, in which she spent a year following the Bible’s instructions to women, literally and figuratively.

You could argue that blogs, which after all, are mostly personal stories, are memoir in short form. Often, a blog will become a book. My memoir, Love Tears & Autism drew on the five years of blog posts I published following my three-year-old son’s diagnosis with ASD.

If you’re writing a memoir, here are three tips.

A memoir is not the same as an autobiography

An autobiography spans a person’s lifetime and doesn’t necessarily have an overarching story arc that ties it together. Sporting or political ‘memoirs’ are more technically biographies and often are not much more than a series of events or anecdotes in chronological order. It’s important to get the facts and details right in this sort of narrative. A memoir, however, tends to focus on a period or significant event in a person’s life, and is more about how the person perceived the events, was challenged by them, and learned from them.

See yourself as the 'main character' of a story

Any good fiction protagonist must be a well-rounded character, with flaws as well as strengths. If you’re only shining off the page of your memoir, readers will close the book in disgust. We all know that real people have warts. Memoir readers want to see a balanced, honestly drawn character.

See the events as a story

Readers have expectations of what a story will give them. They seek challenge, tension and a win (of some kind) at the end. If you know the rules about story structure, you’ll be better placed to write a memoir that will hook readers and give them exactly what they are looking for.

Looking for good examples of memoirs to read and learn from? You’ll find some of my favourites listed on this page of memoir resources.

Cecily Paterson teaches memoir writing in her unexcitingly named online course, Write Your Memoir. Her own memoir, Love Tears & Autism won Third Prize in the 2012 Australian Christian Book of the Year Award. She’s the author of seven MG/YA novels for girls, with an eighth title to be published with Wombat Books in 2020.

A revealing experience

It is ten years since my first novel, Heléna, was published. During that time, I have spoken at all sorts of venues—churches, halls, Leagues’ Clubs, RSL Clubs, schools, private homes, even in the open air. I have addressed a variety of groups who meet for a variety of purposes—some simply to be together, some to learn more, some out of tradition, some to reach out and serve others. I thought I had exhausted most possibilities, but I was wrong. Last month, I was invited to speak at my first ever book club event—and what a unique, scary, humbling experience it was! After all, it’s not every day one walks into a room, knowing most present have read one’s latest book during the past month!

‘It must be like standing there naked,’ someone commented.

As I tried to banish that horrifying image from my mind, I realised how apt it was. If this group had chosen one of my novels instead, perhaps I would not have felt so exposed and vulnerable. After all, authors can hide in novels. And authors can refuse to take any blame for their characters’ beliefs and actions, because we know those characters have minds of their own. But no, this group had chosen my book, Becoming Me, which deals with my own struggles with self-doubt, insecurity and perfectionism. Nowhere to hide this time!

While we chatted over the yummy breakfast provided, someone asked me about a related issue. I could not remember, however, whether I had mentioned it in Becoming Me or in my earlier memoir, Soul Friend.

‘Oh, it’s definitely in Becoming Me,’ I was told. ‘It’s in Chapter Five!’

Whoa! Now I had read my own book again, in preparing for this event, because I have written many other things since it was published. But this person seemed to know it better than I did. Perhaps they had all gone through it with a fine toothcomb. Perhaps they were all about to tear me to shreds!

Eventually, everyone sat down and I was invited to talk for a few minutes about my life and why I wrote this particular book. Then the book club organiser began asking me some questions—and gradually others chimed in as well. As our time together unfolded, I began to relax and enjoy this unique, God-given opportunity. What a privilege to be there with such a lovely, sincere group of women to discuss my own book and the deep, related issues it brought to the surface for some of them! What a privilege to see the impact a book I had written and published with some trepidation had made in the lives of some at least! How humbling to realise God had used my words to convey greater self-understanding and reveal those often hidden hurdles that can be overcome in God’s strength!

I came away from my first book club event even more convinced of the power of our words to affect others in ways we could never imagine. It’s all so completely worth it, I said to myself, as I drove home across Sydney in a daze.

May you too know in your heart today the huge worth of your writing in God’s eyes and the power it can have to impact the lives of others.

Jo-Anne Berthelsen lives in Sydney but grew up in Brisbane. She holds degrees in Arts and Theology and has worked as a high school teacher, editor and secretary, as well as in local church ministry. Jo-Anne is passionate about touching hearts and lives through the written and spoken word. She is the author of six published novels and two non-fiction works, ‘Soul Friend’ and ‘Becoming Me’. Jo-Anne is married to a retired minister and has three grown-up children and four grandchildren. For more information, please visit www.jo-anneberthelsen.com.

Dealing with Diversity by Jo-Anne Berthelsen

I’m going to say it up front. I think authors are a courageous lot! In fact, any creative person who risks putting his or her work out there for others to peruse or assess or admire or love or tear to shreds deserves a huge dose of heartfelt encouragement, in my opinion.

In recent weeks, the first draft of my second memoir has begun the rounds of my three manuscript readers/editors. In conversation with one of these good people, I saw again how diverse our reading preferences are, let alone our approach to life in general.

‘I would never want to be as open about things as you are,’ she told me, ‘but if you’re fine with it, then that’s all that matters. I guess that’s one reason I don’t like the whole genre of memoir very much. I prefer to live in the moment and get on with things rather than dwell on the past and think about everything in such detail.’

‘That’s okay,’ I told her. ‘We’re all different. But I would still value your comments. And I’m happy for you to mark any sections where you feel I've been too introspective or made too much of certain incidences in my life. After all, I don’t want to bore anyone too much.’

Later, I remembered the reception my first memoir, Soul Friend, received two years ago. Many faithful readers of my novels loved it. Some encouraged me to write more non-fiction. Some did not give me any feedback—and their silence spoke volumes. Some did not buy it because they prefer novels. Those who never read fiction were delighted I had finally come up with a memoir instead of yet another novel. I gained a whole new group of readers—but I lost some as well. And through this experience, I decided there was little point in trying to please everyone.

Then, in preparing my memoir writing workshop for the Christian Writers’ Conference next month (see http://www.christianwritersconference.dx.am/), I decided to read a few more books on memoir. Lo and behold, I discovered thoughts about memoir I had never even considered when writing my own—let alone agreed with. As well, I read a variety of memoirs and, in the process, found myself quite bored with several of them. They were far too inward-looking, even for me, with one or two almost becoming bogged in that mire of introspection and description of minutiae. Yet some had received glowing reviews. And some had even won prestigious awards. In the end, I realised again that, even within one reasonably narrow genre, we cannot hope to please everyone.

So, what’s to be done? First and foremost, let’s make sure our security lies in who we are in God and not in what anyone thinks of our work. Yes, we need to listen to all those writing critiques, take on board what we need to and improve as much as we can. But let’s remember we will never please everyone. Second, let’s learn to listen well to God’s Spirit, the Encourager, speaking to us in that still, small voice every moment of the day as we write. And third, as faithful companions on this crazy writing journey we have undertaken, let’s keep on encouraging—that is, ‘putting courage into’—one another in whatever familiar or diverse way we can.

Jo-Anne Berthelsen lives in Sydney but grew up in Brisbane. She holds degrees in Arts and Theology and has worked as a high school teacher, editor and secretary, as well as in local church ministry. Jo-Anne is passionate about touching hearts and lives through both the written and spoken word. She is the author of six published novels and one non-fiction work, Soul Friend: the story of a shared spiritual journey. Jo-Anne is married to a retired minister and has three grown-up children and four grandchildren. For more information, please visit www.jo-anneberthelsen.com.