I was ready to upload an article here this morning. I had poured
hours into what was 600 words ready to go – or was it? Reading again I wondered
what on earth was in my coffee that day! Oh dear, why did I leave it to the
last minute to recheck it? I know I was busy – right?
“This is a jumbling
mess - what do I do now? I’ll have to scrap it and start again. Maybe the Lord
wants me to write something else? Hey, that happened to my pastor this week and
what he said was great!”
“Striving again
Kayleen? You don’t have time to create a whole new article. Do you really want
to be doing this when you have so much to do already? Should you have had that coffee break this
morning - now how are you going to fit the day in? Blah,blah, blah!”
“STOP!” “Whose voice
am I to listen to anyway?” “Not one of doubt or guilt that’s for sure!”
 |
| Heavy Laden: My interpretation of Matthew 11: 28-30 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." |
On some days the ideas seem to write themselves, whilst on other
days, I think my mind is too busy to focus on the keyboard. Writing takes
considered time and then there is rewriting - a necessary part of the process.
I am discovering that an over-busy life can sabotage creative endeavours such
as writing. Busyness can interrupt the flow, inviting rushed work and shortcuts,
or even worse: an overdose of procrastination that can kill an assignment all
together. I nearly didn’t upload anything today but I persisted.
I never feel creativity is active toil even when I am reworking,
but in some life situations (lately) toiling seems to be central and unconducive
to creativity. If I am too anxious about the challenges going on around me it
shuts down my creative side and literally blocks productivity creating feelings
suffocating oppression, helplessness and unworthiness but today I have good
news.
This morning I had a coffee with a very wise friend and found
myself inadvertently sharing my bemusement. She discerned something of incredible
value, “Do you know what the real biblical meaning of evil is?” she said. I
thought it meant malicious intent, and generally associated it with an attack
from an enemy, but I was wrong.
“Evil” or “wicked” is
almost always translated asponêros (poneros). This means “oppressed by toil,”
“burdened,” and “worthless.” Of things, it means “toilsome,” “painful,”
and “grievous.” In a moral sense, “worthless,” “base,” and “cowardly.” “Evil”
in the sense of malicious, very seldom used is kakia and the term used
for “corrupt” or “rotten,” another uncommon term is sapros.
Historically, writing was never been a fluid talent of mine but
I believe it is God inspired, directed, and an anointed passion in my life so I
don’t really stress over it. I know it is a developing expression, and
technically in need of growth, but
something God wants to use and will develop more and more over time. Demands on
my time elsewhere are more of a puzzle to me; overwhelming at times and can feel
incredibly oppressive.
I find myself toiling in particular challenges with our two
youngest boys, heath issues and various financial and time demands that seems
beyond our resources or perceived strength. Unintentionally striving provokes a
sense of inadequacy. When I can’t meet the demands on me personally I find
myself wondering, “Am I enough?” Does
this sound like the description of evil above to you?
What my friend shared today spoke volumes to me. While I am
still figuring out what to illuminate and what to keep on my agenda I must guard
against the deception of busyness and seek a healthier lifestyle to be
effective in the kingdom. Stress is a weapon of the devil and doesn’t belong in
our lives. Jesus asked God to deliver us from evil[i]
and says his yolk is easy and burden is light[ii].
I have to acknowledge that if I am toiling in this way and it is interfering with
my creativity that I have something God needs to show me – bondage to loose. I
am confident that if I am to have the time to pursue a creative path like writing
that I am to do so with balance and not to toil.
In this season of my life I thank God for the gift that is writing
because through it, (like these words today) I can explore new revelation in
addition to creative imagination in story. As long as I keep looking to “the Spirit
to guide me into all truth[iii]”
I will gradually unearth the answers, overcoming obstacles and embrace balance
and surely my writing will follow me to a place of harmony.
[i]
Matthew 6:13
[ii]
Matthew 11:30
[iii]
John 16:13
Kayleen West is a children's book Author and Illustrator from Victoria.
Her new picture book Adoptive Father can be found at www.adoptivefather.org
Her portfolio can be seen at: www.kayleenwest.com.au
