LISTENING TO THE STORIES OF OTHERS

I just spent an enriching day immersed in the wilderness of a deep gorge, with beautiful waterfalls, cascades, forests and fauna. What made it significantly enriching was not just the wonderful environment but the time spent hearing the tireless stories of this area's custodian, geographer and eldered mentor.

Often as authors and story tellers we are more interested in telling our stories to others than taking time to hear other’s stories. This may be true of us as authors, but it is often also the case when we are considering points of view in a world that has so many. What our world needs is some humble listening to help us navigate the monumental changes and fluxes happening across our planet and in the intimate realities of people. People who Jesus cares for.

Jesus demonstrated great listening by giving people his undivided attention, fostering trust, and validating their worth. I love the story of Jesus' interaction with the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4). Jesus didn’t just do all the talking. He listened patiently to her, providing a safe space for her to open up about her life and spiritual questions, allowing for a deep, unhurried conversation. In doing so he circumvented cultural norms and ignored his own needs to address her shame, fear, and spiritual hunger. In like manner when Jesus came across blind Bartimaeus (despite the crowd trying to silence him), Jesus heard him, stopped, and asked, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Mark 10:46-52). Jesus valued, affirmed and ‘saw’ Bartimaeus so he could fully give him agency in the healing that took place. This was modelled many times.

Listening to others' stories is important. It is crucial for fostering empathy (listeners can begin to relate to others as they recognise that the messenger has feelings and experiences just like them (Colgate 2008)). Listening to other’s stories catalyses our connection with others and takes our relationships to a deeper emotional level.  It helps to build stronger communities by creating closer relationships, trust, and empowerment and encouragement for others to tell their stories. Sharing in people’s personal stories helps others gain new perspectives, understand diverse experiences, and promotes personal and collective growth. We learn from each other’s journeys.

My wife and I are “Member Carers” involved in the vital work of helping to support mission individuals, couples, families and teams on the cutting edge of community development initiatives and humanitarian responses. We are bringing much needed care to those reaching the unreached.  Decades of Chaplaincy, pastoral care, community development and cross-cultural service have produced our unique skillset to help bring this care and support.  Simply listening to their stories is one of the most valuable assets we bring into this space.

We recently met face to face with many long-serving and new-to-field workers in restricted access areas. They face constant significant challenges to their own health, safety and the effectiveness of their operations. The personal cost of service for them encompasses insecurity, loneliness, physical risk, and heightened psychological burdens. Visiting them and providing care by our presence and listening has helped maintain their active service.

Robyn Fivush (2020), Professor of Developmental Psychology at Emory University and the director of the Family Narratives Lab confirms these sentiments: “Knowing how to listen to others’ stories is just as important as being able to tell your own story. When we listen, truly listen, to someone else’s story, we understand who they are in a new and different way, we hear their perspective, their interpretation, their understanding of the world and of themselves. Closely listening to others’ stories creates a shared moment of compassion.”

Colgate (2008) adds another powerful reason why it is important to tell our own stories so others can listen: it brings healing for us and sets others up for their own healing journeys. “As we recall our own stories, we begin to uncover old wounds, hurts and traumas. We also begin to identify the ways in which we have tried to cover over or to deny our pain. Then, by the gracious touch of Jesus and often with the help of a friend, we can experience healing and release. This whole process of healing, release and renewal has tremendous impact.”

I have learnt over the years (with all the cultural immersion and care work I have been blessed to be engaged in) that respecting the culture and history of peoples requires a wise acquiring. This is empowered by access, understanding and actioning of endemic communication methodology and storying that requires listening, adapting, and adopting creative methodologies.

An example of this are my relationships with Indigenous friends who have welcomed me like family. When I was considering the recent musings and discussions of Australia Day, I took time to reflect on the blessing of interactions and family connections with many ethnicities (my family were  immigrants in the 1800's and 1950's. English, German, becoming generations of Aussies) and multiple indigenous embracings.

I remember always caring, sometimes intense 'Aunties' sharing stories, welcoming, praying over, calling forth my formative, eyes-opened, heart-responsive, listening and learning, loving and growing, going and journeying in community, family, mates and markings. Nows and futures. Together. 'Uncles' doing likewise with practiced hands teaching to walk and talk the land, gather and collect, hear and hunt, treading, trusting, braving, sometimes slow, moving, mustering, making, moulding, and mentoring.

Lessons of humility stand out with stories of responsibility and storied teachings of reverence, sacred ways of giving thanks, awe of life and spirit, Creator and created, experiential teachings of giving, kindness, caring, justice, mercy and love, orality, oral pronouncements and wisened sayings by meaningful adult interactions. They are oral in spoken words as well as in songs, in utterances, and the sounds of sight and sounds of thoughts and feelings shared on journey together, perhaps gathering foods or hunting or wandering with purpose together on an adventure, sitting in the dust around a camp fire and simply being together, and sometimes this means sitting in silence for a long time and simply sharing space together in the presence of The Almighty.

I am humbled and honoured for their welcome. Thankful for teaching me and helping me listen. To see. I am glad we can join hands with all our diverse backgrounds to journey into our future together.

There are many other examples of relationships with many different peoples I could share of the vitality of listening.

Finally, when stories are shared to listening ears and hearts, they are spiritually powerful:

“We overcome by the word of our testimony and the blood of the lamb” (Revelation 12:11).

It may even be considered to be a form of spiritual warfare as it is truth telling, helps to break down deception, and reveals Godly purposes, plans and prophetic insights therefore countering  isolation, judgment, and spiritual darkness. Honest testimonies and authentically hearing others, can help bring freedom, build hope and faith, and testify of God’s power.

Jesus took time to listen to people. Perhaps we can too.

Listening to others’ stories empowers their future story. I believe it is also a potent way for us as story tellers to have more powerful future stories.

My wilderness journey and storied immersions have changed my life. I hope your adventures in listening do too.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Colgate, J (2008) Relational Bible Storying and Scripture Use in Oral Muslim Context,

Fivush, R. (2020) Listening to Stories: The Power of Story Circles Story Circles build compassion and connection during challenging times. In Psychology Today. 

Lausanne  (2004) “Making Disciples of Oral Learners” Oral Communicators and Oral Cultures in the Lausanne Report (pages 14-18) Making Disciples of Oral Learners Can we in our day do for oral communicators what Gutenberg in his day did for literates? In Report from the Lausanne Committee on World Evangelization Issue Group  Pattaya, Thailand. Sept. 29-Oct. 5, 2004

Strauss, R. (2018) “Tell This Man We Were Sleeping” EMQ, October–December 2018, Volume 54, Issue 4, Missionexus Introducing-story-strategic-methods/

Unity in Volatile Times

 

I've been thinking about unity a lot lately, or perhaps disunity is the more correct word. Christians have always had different opinions on some elements of doctrine and practice, hence the emergence of difference denominations. Though hopefully, we agree on core aspects of our faith, often expressed in words such as the Apostle's Creed. 

God also gave us all different spiritual gifts, talents, personalities, and passions to serve Him in different spheres of influence. I think most of us have some idea of what that looks like in a church context, or at least what it should look like. We are all parts of the one body (1 Corinthians 12), we're called to 'make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace' (Ephesians 4:3, NIV) and we're to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). But what does that look like as Christian writers?

I should warn you that this post has more questions than answers. I am genuinely trying to work this out myself and I'd be interested to see how you're navigating this space. So here's my problem.

A Volatile World

In the last six years, I feel like the world has been in more upheaval than it has been for decades, perhaps even since World War II. With that upheaval has come a lot of issues that have polarised people, including those in the Christian community. It seems we all have different views on the COVID crisis, vaccinations in general, the war in the Ukraine, unrest in the Middle East, world politics, the Voice referendum, free speech and a host of other issues. There's nothing wrong with having different opinions. Yet sometimes we act in ways that make an enemy of the person with a different view. I've found myself reacting negatively to some social media posts, and then in turn, harbouring negative feelings towards the person who circulated that post. I know this is not how Christ would want us to behave towards each other, but what is the solution when we feel so strongly about certain issues? 

Separate the Person from the Idea of Action

One way is to remember first that the person is of great value. Afterall, Christ died for them even if we disagree with them. Funny that! He desires that all come to a saving knowledge of Him. However, that doesn't mean we don't challenge their idea or offer alternative viewpoints. Try to remember that it's the idea or opinion we don't agree with, and keep that as the focus rather than personal attacks. And also remember that we are to speak the truth in love, which doesn't always happen as it should within the Christian community.

Look for Common Ground

It might seem that people have very different ideas from us, but if we dig deeper, we can often see that there is some common ground. For example, we could find three Christians who are all concerned about the erosion of family values and want to see families strengthened. Yet those three people might approach that issue in completely different ways. One will run a marriage enrichment course in their church because they believe that a strong marriage is the key to a strong family. Another will be concerned about a particular issue that they feel is undermining family values (e.g., some content in the school curriculum), so they will lobby government, write letters to the editor, get petitions going and so on to try to get change made to that curriculum. Someone else might feel that there aren't enough opportunities for families to come together, so they'll organise community events that are suitable for the whole family. All concerned about the family, but all tackling the issues differently.

So next time it seems like someone has a very different idea to you, try to dig deeper and see what's driving that idea. Ask some questions to try to get behind their reasoning. You might have more in common than you think.

What If You Can't Agree?

Sometimes different ideas are incompatible and you won't be able to find that common ground. That's okay. You have to be true to what you believe God has called you to do. Are you meant to challenge the other person or let it go? (I feel a song coming on!). Are you meant to write about it? If so, how will you do that in a respectful way? Are you teachable and open to the idea that your own ideas might need to be challenged and change as well?

Prayer and Humility

Above all, are we willing to seek God's perspective, humble ourselves and repent where necessary, and write the words God would have us write in these challenging times? As writers, we don't just represent God with our words, but with our lives. We can't divorce what we would put in a book from what we put on Facebook. It's all a witness, whether in a way worthy of Christ or not.

Some Questions

So here are some questions to think about, and I'd love to hear your responses.

• What does it look like to have unity, yet diversity, within Christian writing circles?
• What does it look like to represent Christ as Christian writers at a time when Christians disagree with each other on a lot of topics?
• How can we bring hope to a hurting world when we are hurting as well?

Let's always remember that Jesus is the 'author and perfector of our faith' (Hebrews 12:2, NASB). Whether we write specifically for the Christian market or not, let's remember that we reflect Him in everything we write.

Sources

Featured photo by John Hain on Pixabay. NIV = New International Version and NASB = New American Standard Bible. 

Author Bio

Nola Lorraine has a passion for faith and social justice issues, and loves weaving words that inspire others with courage and hope. Her books include the inspirational historical novel Scattered, the Christian devotional book Comfort Zone, and the Christian charity anthology Glimpses of Light which she co-edited with Jeanette O’Hagan. She also has more than 150 short publications, including fiction, poetry, devotions, true stories, magazine articles and academic papers. She loves sharing the words and stories God impresses on her heart, and prays that He will use them to bless others.

All Things New

 

by Rebekah Robinson

I am a weird little person who likes Mondays. And mornings. And Januaries … it’s like opening a brand new journal with that fresh, clean page smiling at you, all inviting.

God makes us a powerful future promise in Revelation 21:3-5 ESV:

‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’ And He who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’

Speed the day, Lord! A world with no hurt? Forever in Your presence? Bring it on.

In the meantime … we have moments like New Year’s Day. We stop and consider how we might improve our corner of this old world, or our performance within it. We resolve to try harder, do better. Perhaps we even resolve to restfully trust in the grace of our Lord more fully.

I have goals for the year, and aspirations, but I am too old (and maybe too jaded) for resolutions. Most of us have enough going on without piling more expectations onto ourselves. A quiet continuance in the right direction is also to be commended: to keep going with that book, to remain embedded in the Word, to inch closer and closer to the heart of God, surrendering more fully every day (even days that are not Mondays!).

Time is a construct, and God is not particularly obligated to pay attention to the numbers on our calendars. But being the gracious Person He is, He does often play along. There’s no reason He can’t give us a boost on January 1^st. He’s not going to withhold blessing because ‘calendars are ridiculous.’ If a date means something to us, chances are, it means something to Him. We are, after all, immensely cherished!

We are headed for the new world without pain, the world where God moves in with us. Yet while we find ourselves still in this world, we have work to do, rest to enjoy, people to love. Win the lost, be the family, build the Kingdom. This is our window of opportunity, and as writers we squeeze meaning and metaphor out of everything that passes by. What a privilege it is! What will He show us next? His ingenuity is endless.

And so, whether you’re making resolutions or not – be encouraged. Take motivation from the clean slate of the newborn year, or simply Keep Calm & Carry On. Be blessed in 2026 with Jesus’s presence, inspiration and power, and remember His declaration in Matthew 28:20 NIV:

‘And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’