The picture below is not me. :-)
That quote from Mark Twain has been greatly misquoted. He said it as I have it above. But there are many variations of his words. I used it because for three months I hardly wrote a word, crashed inside myself, lost a sister-in-law, left the writing world and left some of the best friends I have ever had. Anusha, Jenny, Nola. Not to mention our MOP group. I like the way Mark Twain said it better than the other versions. He never said GREATLY. I wonder if he was in the place I was. This was part of the real letter he wrote to that reporter who printed the obituary.
Mark Twain was undecided whether to be more amused or annoyed when a Journal representative informed him today of the report in New York that he was dying in poverty in London...
The great humorist, while not perhaps very robust, is in the best of health. He said:
“I can understand perfectly how the report of my illness got about, I have even heard on good authority that I was dead. James Ross Clemens, a cousin of mine, was seriously ill two or three weeks ago in London, but is well now. The report of my illness grew out of his illness. "The report of my death was an exaggeration.”
I was going through some biopsies and my world turned topsy-turvy. (I love those words. They feel so good in your mouth when you say them. Go ahead. Say them. Topsy-turvy. That's a little thing. But I have that pleasure back in my life. In those hard months, I didn't care. I know Anusha, Jenny and Nola were whispering my name in prayer. I felt it.
I don't have cancer, but I have something close. Precancer. I never knew you could have that. I came to realize that I missed writing. I missed my friends. Our group. And now I'm rushing to finish my 12 poems for our anthology. So I wasted time while throwing my pity party.
I apologize to all of you. For not getting by to read your words. I will from now on. I've learned that we can't live in fear. That's no fun. So I picked up the pieces, glued them back together and now look like the picture above. Hahaha.
Anusha sent me an email. She'd realized she never answered my email. It was in her draft folder. That was on July 10th. The very day I started trying to pull myself out of the mire. I was writing again. Her email made me smile. And I knew I would write my poetry and novels and picture books. This verse she sent snatched me out of that miry pit.
Isaiah 30:15
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for Him. (Wait for Him.) Yes.
Anusha and I had a retreat. And it was lovely. It was right before my crash. God uses people in our lives to bring us back from the brink. That retreat was another way God used her to help me and she didn't know it. Well, she does now.
I prayed about this post. I actually intended to write something else. But He impressed me to write this. I believe someone needs to see it.
Thank you for making me a part of your lives I tell everyone I'm an honorary Aussie. I love Australia for many reasons. And you have short elections. Not like our three years of election talk. BLEH.
All my love to all of you.
Robyn
Oh Robyn. I am so sorry you've been through SO MUCH. I am really sorry we were not part of your journey and didn't know the half of it. Yes, we did pray for you. I didn't want to intrude into your busy life so waited patiently for your reply not realising my reply to you was nestling in my draft folder. Love your sense of humour - you've changed a wee bit since I last saw your picture! :)
ReplyDeletePraying that the pre-cancer is getting sorted out as fast as possible. Very glad you are alive and kicking and writing! A warm welcome back my friend. Good to see you around. And don't forget you are a vital part of us even if you live a tad too far away to visit. God bless you and grant you perfect health and happy writing! :)
Hahaha, love you, sweet Nushi. I'm looking rather manly. *wink* Thank you for everything. The love you share, the sending emails and not expecting a reply, the prayers and the friendship. You mean the world to me. I WILL email you asap. It's my mustache, isn't it? :-)
DeleteLove that mustache my friend. Very distinguished you look! :) Love you too. And looking forward to touching base with you soon. I've missed you. God bless and take care and thanks for being a vital part of CWD. Would not be the same without you. XOX
DeleteHi Robyn - so good to hear your 'voice' again. Such a tough time for you for so many reasons. I think we all at some point or other, go through 'the valley' - or 'the dark night of the soul' as others phrase it - but God is there, in the midst of our despair, in the darkness & the mire, He doesn't give up on us. And maybe we come out the other side with a greater sense of his unfailing love.
ReplyDeleteMissed you - glad you're back : Thanks for a great, heartfelt post :)
Hahaha, Jenny, thank you for the facebook messages. Something you don't know. I cried when I left that one message. When I read your reply I jumped for joy. It meant that I was getting better. All because I was actually READING it. And you're right. We all go down that path. At one time or another. But it was so dark. *shiver* And I do. Have a greater sense of His unfailing love. Believe me. Missed you too. Smooch!
DeleteYay, for jumping for joy :) Keeping you in my prayers Robyn - I know God's got great things for you and for your family. Hugs, prayers and smooches xxoo
DeleteI love you, Jenny.
DeletePraise the Lord for your recovery from that deep, dark hole. I didn't know until reading this post what you have been going through but it's so good to hear that you are on the way back. May He continue to work in and through you Robyn and bless you for sharing your journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lesley. Your words touched my heart. All my love to you.
DeleteSo Glad to have you back Robyn. We've missed your brilliant sense of humour. I love that meme with the lizard and butterfly. We had a 6-week election campaign recently and everyone was complaining about how long it was :)
ReplyDeleteBut no need to apologise at all for stepping back a bit. I've been slack on MOPs and don't have anywhere near your excuse. We all go through different seasons. It's perfectly understandable that you needed some time out during your cancer scare. God has gifted you with many talents and a beautiful caring heart. All of your experiences are precious jewels he can weave into your writing. I'm so glad we met you through MOPs. Now when are you catching that plane? We have a Christian writers' conference here at the end of October. Come on down! Take care Robyn. Will pray God continues to bring his healing and blesses your writing beyond belief <3
Nola, you know I love you, right? Remember that woman who pestered you and Jenny about poetry that first MOP we were all together? You two wrote the most beautiful words. And then I found out it was your first MOP too. Man, that was a wonderful time getting to know you two.
DeleteCould you stand three years of elections? UGH. It is so sickening. So the first year of the new President's administration we will be spared and then that second year it all starts all over again.
I wish I could come. I want to so bad. Of course, I would stay until the American election was over. Hahaha.
I know we need to step back. But I two five steps back and then forgot to move forward.
All my love, dear Nola. I have missed you all.