Thursday, November 27, 2014

Metafiction



I just thought I’d have a little fun with some metafiction – enjoy!


Metafiction: fiction that discusses, describes, or analyzes a work of fiction or the conventions of fiction. (Analyses is spelled with a z because I pinched this definition from an American online dictionary)



Lyndon pulled his car up outside Naomi’s flat. She paused for a while, because she really didn’t want this time together to end.
‘I had a really great time tonight,’ Naomi said.
Lyndon undid his seatbelt, and for a moment, Naomi thought he was going to lean across and kiss her, but instead, he pulled the car door handle and began to get out. Naomi took the cue and got out from her side.
‘Can I come in for a while?’ Lyndon asked.
Naomi grinned and nodded. She was all thumbs trying to fit her front door key into the lock, and it only got worse as Lyndon placed his warm hands on her shoulders, and bent his head to kiss her neck. Bolts of pleasure shot through her like electrical currents. She could hardly wait to get the door open. She almost fell through the door, dropped her bag and keys on the floor and turned around to face this wonderful man – the one she had dreamed about for months. He stepped close to her and put his arm around her waist, drawing her body close to him.
‘Can I get you a cup of tea?’
‘What?’
‘Tea. Would you like a cup?’
Lyndon pulled his head back, but didn’t let her go from his embrace.
‘I didn’t come inside to drink tea,’ he said.
‘Oh, I know, but you know how it is.’ Naomi carefully extracted herself from Lyndon’s grip.
‘No, how is it?’
‘The author.’ Naomi whispered the words and put her finger up to her lips.
‘What about her?’
‘She’s in control of this whole scene you know.’
‘Surely she knows why I came into your flat.’
‘Of course she knows, but we can’t go there.’
‘Why not? I want to go there, you want to go there, the whole reading world wants us to go there.’
‘Lyndon, really. You know she’s a Christian author. It’s not going to happen.’
Lyndon let go of Naomi completely and sat disconsolately onto a kitchen chair.
‘I think she should just butt out and mind her own business.’
‘Well, controlling us is her business, and we have to mind our...you know...’
‘Mind our morals.’
‘Sure. She has an agenda too, you know. Shortly, I will quote a Scripture to you, and possibly tell you I can’t see you again.’
‘Why on earth not?’
‘Because you’re not a Christian – Lyndon, you know this.’
‘How am I supposed to know that? I don’t read Christian fiction.’
‘Oh! That’s a shame. I can lend you some if you like. The hero always has to have some sort of religious experience before he can really get together with the heroin.’
‘Seriously. Isn’t that a bit lame?’
‘Well, that’s what has to happen. In the meantime, we can drink tea.’
‘Nothing with a bit more kick to it?’
‘I have ginger tea with lemon grass!’
Lyndon got up from the chair and picked up his keys from the bench.
‘Well, you can just tell the author to go ....’
‘Lyndon! You can’t say that! You’re not allowed to use bad language.’
‘She is such a control freak – she’s driving me crazy.’
‘Well, I am really sorry, but for now, you’re just going to have to deal with it. Oh, and by the way, the Scripture she has just looked up and will probably run across your path in an upcoming plot point is John 3:16.’
Lyndon opened the door to leave.
‘Will I ever see you again?’ Naomi asked, tears beginning to well in her eyes.
‘Of course. She’ll have written some plot that will make our paths cross, probably tomorrow, and probably in either an embarrassing situation for you, or a really tense one.’
‘Ooh! I’d prefer tense. I have to go to the bank tomorrow, do you suppose there will be a hold up?’
‘It’s likely, but the bank robbers will be ever so polite.’
‘Now you’re being sarcastic, Lyndon. The author doesn’t appreciate your tone!’


Meredith Resce has just released her sixteenth title, but under a new pen name: E.B.James.

To read about this exciting new Crime Drama and her other fiction titles, please visit her website:

www.meredithresce.com


10 comments:

  1. I love it! Lyndon should know that if the author decides to keep liking him, he'll get his HEA with Naomi, but he'll have to toe the line and keep drinking that tea.
    Reminds me of a great movie, 'Stranger than Fiction' when the author got a visit from her main character to plead with her not to kill him off.

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  2. That's hilarious Meredith. Thanks for the laugh. But it does raise those interesting points of what a Christian author's to do in certain situations. Can't wait to hear if Lyndon becomes a Christian and we hear crashing waves and violins at some point :)

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  3. All too true. And when you're a Christian writing a secular book it's really hard to stick to those morals.

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  4. LOVE IT! Thanks Meredith
    ...just sayin' ...is Lyndon right for Naomi?
    (Looking forward to reading E B James)

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  5. Ahh, Meridith... brilliant.
    I love the way your mind works and challenges us to consider carefully the how and why of what we write! Humour and sarcasm aside, you make some thought provoking points.
    Thanks

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  6. Wow! That was a great read. Thanks Meredith! Amazed by your brilliance. And I found many thoughts provoking ideas in there. Thank you. Well done on your latest book and all power to your brilliant pen!

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  7. Hilarious Meredith - and brilliant. Topical too as you know. Hopefully we're not quite that heavy handed but yeah...I was writing a scene yesterday thinking, my characters just woken up, I know what I usually do first thing in the morning but gosh, should I mention that or just glide over. It's not just what we as authors are comfortable with - but our reading public as well (well for those of you who have a reading public). BTW I'm not sure if I should mention, but I got an extra chuckle out of 'The hero always has to have some sort of religious experience before he can really get together with the heroin.' That's an interesting concept ;) Thanks again.

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  8. Very amusing. The editor in me was also entertained by the fact that male characters have a religious experience before they take their heroin. (:

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    1. Ha ha, yes, Cecily, realised the error late. Or perhaps that is what I really meant...who knows?

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  9. This is delightful.You do realise that we're all waiting for the full story of Lyndon and Naomi now, right? :-) Thank you for giving us something to make us laugh. Blessings, Helen.

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