Tell Me More!

 by Anusha Atukorala

One day, not long ago, I turned to a friend for prayer. What I needed was someone who listened, asked a question or two to know more and then prayed for me. My friend, let’s call her Simone – did do what I asked for and I was grateful. But … she talked. Too much! The instant I shared my prayer request and before I could finish, she began sharing similar situations in her life – which in truth, had little bearing in my own. She meant well and I did appreciate her praying for me. However … she didn’t understand my need - she made invalid assumptions without first listening.

Simone didn’t understand what caring for a friend means in the fullest sense. Which is … talking less and listening more. Talking less and praying more. She in fact taught me what I needed to do, if a friend approached me for prayer. Not to talk more or make assumptions. But simply to listen. And then to say ‘Tell me more!’ Isn’t that what friendship and caring are about? Seeking to learn more about another in order to support them well! Psychologists talk of curiosity being important in a relationship. I prefer the word 'interest’ rather than curiosity. When someone is interested in another’s feelings or life or experiences, it helps. Tell me more! Three words that can make a difference.

 

A good listener, draws out another by an attitude of ‘Tell me more’ even if she doesn’t mouth the words. And of course … a good writer answers the question ‘Tell me more’ that’s asked by an interested reader. There are books and books. Some books I can leave aside. Others I can’t put down. Tell me more, I cry in my reader’s heart as I turn the pages swiftly and read more. I’m eager to get to the end of the story but also don’t want to reach the finale, because I am enjoying it too much! Have you been there? It’s a great feeling is it not, (despite it being a conundrum)!

 

Writing a best seller that draws readers wanting more, is a writer’s dream come true. These days, sadly I can’t get to the library as often as I used to (it used to be once a week – now, it’s more like once in a few months due to my ill health), so I check the writers whose books I’ve greatly enjoyed and put more of theirs on hold – then ask my beloved to pick them up for me on his weekly trip to the library. My unspoken question then towards each of these gifted writers is ‘Tell me more’! If one of their novels was an exceptional read, their other books too are sure to be enjoyable.

You know, it blesses me deeply when a friend says ‘So tell me more. What is it like to live with chronic fatigue?’ Or ‘It must be so difficult for you, not having the energy to do basic tasks. Tell me about it?’ But few people realise that it’s a way of helping me and others with chronic illness. I know that it’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that they have not experienced the challenges and don’t realise the power of being heard. People are often fixers – they want to fix broken things. But when broken things cannot be fixed ... listening is a way of fixing what cannot be fixed.

Tell me more! Three little words that can bless another. My beloved blesses me often by letting me vent and complain when I have unbearable pain or debilitating fatigue. After I share – even just one sentence, I feel so much better. And then I can move ahead to be more positive.

 

In our experiences with others as believers, we can bless them through our attitude ‘Tell me more.’ Do we instead formulate responses in our head about what we’d say in response, even before our friend stops speaking? I’m sure we are all guilty of it. And what of our walk as believers? ‘Dear Jesus, do tell me more’,  should be our heart’s spiritual posture every day. Last year, when my church Bible study group studied ‘Learning to discern God’s Voice’ – a powerful study by Priscilla Shirer, we were asked to list a few questions of what we hoped to hear from God.

 

A question I asked God that He answered most fully was: Who are you God? He responded to it in amazing ways, not once, not twice but many many times over. I learnt so much about Him that I hadn’t known before. It made me realise that God wants us to seek Him and know Him better and better. So here’s a challenge for all us. Let’s learn to write so well, that readers will say ‘I want more. Tell me more’. Let’s learn to listen to others with a stance of ‘Tell me more about your joys and sorrows. I am listening’. And in our spiritual lives, let’s have an attitude of seeking and finding God in full measure.

 

And now dear listener, dear reader, dear writer, dear friend. 

Here is my question today: 

“Tell me more about yourself. What are your own hopes and dreams? Tell me more! I am listening.”

Anusha’s been on many interesting detours in life, as a lab technician, a computer programmer, a full time Mum, a full time volunteer, a charity director, a full time job chaser, until one golden day (or was it a dark moonless night?) God tapped her on her shoulder and called her to write for Him. She has never recovered from the joy it brought her. She loves to see others enjoying life with Jesus and does her mite to hurry the process in her world through her writing and through her life. The goodness of God is her theme song through each season, as she dances in the rain with Jesus.

 

Her first book Enjoying the Journey contains 75 little God stories that will bring you closer to your Creator. Her 2^nd book ‘Dancing in the Rain’ brings you hope and comfort for life’s soggy seasons. Her 3rd book, ‘Sharing the Journey’ is a sequel to 'Enjoying the Journey'.

 

Do drop in on her two websites to say G’day! She’d love to connect with you.

Dancing in the Rain 

Light in the Darkness

Greater Expectations

Each day starts off with certain expectations but what of our expectations of others. Do we have greater expectations of Christians than we do of other people? I think so. Just recently I have found the behaviour of some Christians hard to understand.  

In one case, a Christian friend and I had a difference of opinion that ultimately resulted in severing the friendship. That argument and what was said, was something between us and no-one else. To me it was something between the two of us and it went no further.  It didn’t concern anyone else. However she chose to relate details of the argument to others.  As we know the person telling the story invariably tells it from their point of view, so it looks like they are the one wronged.  Listen to anyone tell the story of an argument and you’ll see what I mean.

In another situation another Christian related a couple of incidents to me.  What struck me as she related the tale was the bitterness and resentment towards the other party involved in the dispute.   The situation had happened many years ago but she had not let go of it. Looking at it from the outside, it is often easy to see there was probably right and wrong on both sides.

Even though in each case the people involved were mature Christians, they struggled with their emotions and behaved in a manner that I found disappointing. The truth is we have greater expectations of Christians. Then I realised how often my actions and behaviour are also disappointing to God, to others and to myself.  How often I let Christ down and do not live up to those greater expectations.

When you look at the bible it never shies away from showing us people’s faults and times when they fail Jesus. Think of some of the disputes we see in the New Testament. There is Paul when he challenges Peter over his attitudes and hypocrisy regarding Gentiles, Galatians 2:11-21. Or Paul and Barnabas when they disagree over John Mark and his role in ministry and so go their separate ways, Acts 15:36-41. Yet no one would deny Paul was a mighty servant of Jesus.  God is always able to use any situation, even disputes, to further His kingdom.

So what does this have to do with writing? Whether we are writing fiction or nonfiction we need to show complex characters not stereotypes. Characters who struggle to make decisions, who struggle to get it right, characters that disagree and make unwise choices. As readers we need to see that even when Christians do not act as we might expect, when they harbour grudges and resentment or gossip about others, His plans are not thwarted. He can still use those imperfect people to further His kingdom.

A minister once told me and the rest of his congregation ‘if you are not having struggles sin your Christian life, then there is something wrong. Satan doesn’t think you're worth bothering with because you’re not an effective Christian.’  Let’s come back to Paul. How often did he struggle between the human nature and the godly nature and do things he didn’t want to do? Don’t believe me? Have a look at his words in Romans 7: 14-25.

In some Christian books I have read in the past, making the right decision and behaving in a godly manner comes too easily to the Christian. That makes it hard for a lot of our readers to identify with if they don’t find the Christian life and making the right choice that easy. The truth is the Christian life can be a struggle at times. So it is important we show the conflict and struggles that go on within, the time when characters doubt and make wrong decisions as well as the ultimate triumphs. I’d love to hear examples of recent books where you have found the main character has made unwise decisions and struggled with doing the right thing, while still being able to be used by God or changed by God.

 

Dale writes fiction and poetry and had recently submitted a 365 day devotional /commentary  tentatively titled A Day at a Time to a publisher. Now she's working on another novel. You can find out more about Dale at www.daleharcombe.com and you might like to follow her blog at Write and Read with Dale http://orangedale.livejournal.com/

For the love of letters.

Those of you who know me, or who have been following the random comments that make up my Penny Drops, will know I am a sucker for snail mail. I love the postman, anticipate the parcel lady’s arrival and drool over note-cards and paper sets in my favourite store. I’ve even found a blog/store called the Letter Writers’ Alliance and am wondering if Australia Post would be able to handle their Pigeon Post option. I love it!

But seriously, letter writing – that ancient art of pen and paper in a literal envelope, decorated by a stamp and carried by a number of vehicles over a period of days or weeks to its destination – is the very essence of what it means to write. Writers write to be read; one person to another. And this is exactly what letter writing is: raw, relationship driven communication.

Some people may draft their letters to friends. I don’t. And here is an interesting fact I learned recently: a letter’s copyright belongs not to the writer but the recipient. This highlights the trust implicit in letter writing, a trust not so present in the world of social media.

Despite the many relational opportunities offered by email, facebook, twitter or texting, there is something about the act of writing by hand that makes a letter more of a gift than plain communication. Perhaps it is the slowness of it for those accustomed to high speed typing, or the thoughtful recipient driven approach to word formation. When I write a letter, the person I am writing to is in my thoughts from the moment I write (okay, scrawl) Dear... to the time I drop the letter in the post box and count the days till the letter may be received. Perhaps I approach the process slightly religiously, but this is the luxury of friendship at snail mail pace.

And it’s this same thought and time that allows the letter to be a powerful tool for approaching politicians. Emails just don’t carry the weight that a physical letter does. One initiative our family has been involved with is the Micah Challenge Offering of Letters. It is a beautiful thing to read the letters written by my children asking their nation's leaders to make decisions considering the poor.

Historically speaking, the letter has always been used to carry important messages. The majority of the Bible’s New Testament was written as a letter. Its personal form is perfectly suited to carrying the enormous, life changing news about Jesus as seen and experienced in the writers’ lives. I’ll admit my letters are not divinely inspired as those in the Bible are, but they do give me the opportunity to share my faith and encourage those I love.

Letter writing also reminds me (as one who considers herself a writer by vocation) that I don’t just write for myself, for publication, for approval, for blog comments or facebook likes. I can and will put pen to paper just for one person.

And, if I ever needed more justification than that, I’ve always got a Jane Austen quote to back me up: “A person who can write a long letter with ease, cannot write ill” (Jane Austen via Miss Bingley in pride and Prejudice. )

So, fellow writers, share a story about a letter that meant a lot to you. But here’s the catch; you are not allowed to comment until you write a piece of snail mail first. Happy letter writing!

Penny Reeve is a children’s author currently living with her family in Western Sydney. This week she hopes to weed the front garden, read something other than the big truck book to her toddler and write a decent letter to an overseas friend!