Writing Life Stories — of Living People by Ruth Bonetti

Over decades of writing my heritage trilogy, I wrangled relatives, opening closet doors to skeletons, shotgun weddings and shame on the family. I resisted cranky maiden aunts who threatened legal action if I divulged a century-old illegitimate birth. Black sheep were drafted from white; truths sifted from myths;
‘Change the names and turn it into a novel’ some siblings urged, not trusting me to honour the family.

Magical realism gave me a tool to avoid relatives’ rancour. I wrote conversations with dead relatives, posing questions like ‘Karl Johan, I bet you were in the thick of the Battle of Brisbane?’ No answer but the possibility hangs in the ether. (Don’t you talk with your long departed?)

 

I gave him new life, channelling his own FaceBook page. This long-deceased bachelor author received little encouragement until I gave him credence in his book Burn my Letters and on Soundcloud.

Now, writing stories of living people, I face new challenges. Valued critique groups focus on writing tools like Spot the ‘Show don’t tell.’ With living people it’s ‘dare I show or tell without asking permission? 

 

Recently I’ve been led to write stories of a diverse group of living people: Justen, a Sudanese child soldier, refugee to Australia and now studying for the ministry; my indigenous ‘Bestie’ from Boigu Island in Torres Strait, who was so buoyed to have a short story in Mosaic of Grace that she wants to publish a whole book of her testimonies as well as short stories for children.

My book-in progress Victorious Voices will release stories of three friends including a Neapolitan tenor and Tuija, a Finnish singer who I was led to Estonia to meet. Why Estonia?

 

‘That’s all I have to write about Finland,’ I decided after the third book of my trilogy Midnight Sun to Southern Cross was published. But that shut door left a hole in my heart and head. Until I stumbled onto a documentary called The Singing Revolution. It described how Estonians won freedom from Soviet rule with unique powerful weapons—their singing voices. The three Baltic states endured oppressive regimes under Russia until 1991. They won independence through silent protest and singing! 

At Estonia’s Song and Dance Festival (see my 2025 blog) I bonded with Tuija and discovered we share similar issues, even reaching back to utero. To communicate our murky dark issues sparks triggers.

 

What to reveal in print? What might malcontents use against me? Why reveal chinks in my armour for insensitive prodding? I am blessed with wise counsel, spiritual direction, beta readers and editors to vet words before they’re printed. With a small team of like-minded nonfiction authors meet, some digitally, I meet to pray through far deeper issues than show-don’t-tell. 

 

Digital platforms like FaceTime are invaluable for interviewing distant friends and transcribing in first person viewpoint. Messenger’s green dot alerts when Tuija is awake in Finland. It tempts me to jump in with a searching question, skipping introductory pleasantries. The three dots wave in response while I double guess if I’ve been too abrupt or disturbed her sleep.

 

One luminous full moon I tossed before sleeping. Text pings woke me at 2:30am. Bestie’s mother had just died following the recent death of her younger sister. I rolled over, remembering I had stumbled into a cultural sensitivity by asking about their health and funerals. After wriggling a while I replied with the compassion she then craved. (Next day I reset the ‘do not disturb’ function.) 

At such times how to balance objectivity and sympathy? While I’ve promised to help Bestie edit her stories, my role is to enable and empower her to own her stories. It’s her voice, and she knows culture better than me. When I upgraded my iPad, I donated the old one to her worthy cause and sent videos showing how to record her stories to Notes or Voice Memos using the mic icon. Transcribe, even. 

 

Pitfalls lie in wait when writing of different cultural situations but there’s deep satisfaction in enabling living stories to reach readers.   

 

What stories could you share before they’re lost to dementia or the grave? Do it now!

 

HEAR Ruth Bonetti speak at Koorong on 'Writing Life Stories of Living People'.

WRITING PROMPTS:

·      If I’d known what lay ahead, when I took that first step…

·      The photograph sent prickles down my spine. These were real people!

·      If only I’d shared my story, another life might have been saved.

Ruth loves writing true stories of real people overcoming adversity. She is grateful to her team of prayer supporters (yes, including Tuija in Finland) to overcome the Attack of Tech Gremlins that messed with blog formatting and her head. 

Ruth co-edited a third collection Mosaic of Grace with Anne Hamilton and Rosemary New. Ruth is thrilled by the prolific harvest of published authors since founding Omega Writers in 1991 and co-founding Christian Authors Showcase Queensland. 

Website

Mosaic of Grace

Buy Ruth's books

Midnight Sun to Southern Cross Trilogy

Book Narrations

The Singing Revolution

Power in Writing Community.

 

    In the beginning God created family. He created man and woman and he saw that it was very good. God also noted it was not good for man to live alone and so he gave Adam a mate.

Early members of Sunshine Coast Omega 

Likewise it is not good for a writer to be completely alone.  I’ve heard many say that it’s a lonely experience being an author, and, yes, there is always a lot of time when we pound the keys in our bubble. However, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. An author, needs a community, people around that support and understand her.

Writers together celebrate the release of Symphony of Grace

Jesus spent time alone, but he also spent much time in community, where He modeled different levels of relationship. He had three close friends, chose twelve disciples, and related to many others in the crowds. When he needed company, it was always available.

 

I find my writing community invaluable so when writing I purposely involve other people. I need people to bounce ideas off, to share wins and get feedback. Equally, I watch for others to help, support, read and critique.

 

When I write anything, my friend Sue wants to read every word. I email my books chapter by chapter. She knows my characters and keeps me encouraged. The wonderful thing about this arrangement is having someone I can discuss a character’s dilemma or a plot difficulty. Sue isn’t an author but an avid reader. She’s been an invaluable help to me as I have written various novels and articles. She’s also edits the document at the first level.

My little critique group. Jo, Miranda, Jeanette, Arlene.

 

I am part of a small critique group of four writers. This blog will be emailed to them today.  Next week when we meet they will edit it and critique it. They suggest changes and highlight obvious mistakes. As I’m a master at mistakes this group saves me from publishing bad writing. Each of us submits three pages each month and we all comment on one another’s writing. Our writing has improved as we’ve learned from each other.

 

Last Saturday, our sunshine Coast Omega writers group met in my lounge room. There were ten of us, investing our time to share each other’s knowledge and experience. It’s an incredibly rich place to be as we talk about our wins in our losses. One person has created a new app for the group to help with our editing. The members of this group are quick to help each other with knowledge and assistance. Some of the members are more experienced with many published books. Others have done a lot of study and bring knowledge about writing craft. Others are only just beginning their writing journey. Some understand technology and others struggle with it. It’s a fun, supportive group and its great to have people you can ring and seek help.

Sunshine Coast chapter celebrates with Julie as she launches Oscar was Here

 

And of course, there is the online writing community. Facebook groups like Australasian Christian Writers and Christian Writers Downunder feed encourage and teach me. Through these sites and others, I have met so many interesting people, discovered their writing and learned from their experience. Recently I sent El Gibbor, my next book, to a few beta readers requesting feedback before publication. One of those readers was Paula Vince in Adelaide. Paula and I met years ago at writers’ conferences. She published Picking up the Pieces the same time I published Though the Bud be Bruised. Both books look at different responses to sexual abuse. I knew she would be interested my latest book. She very graciously sent me three pages of suggestions, sharing how I could improve the book.

 

The wider internet community is a great forum for questions.  How do I self publish? Where is the best place to get this? What’s the best app for that?  So many questions mine the combined knowledge of writers. This help is invaluable.

 

Part of this community dynamic is our willingness to share our wisdom and time. Time invested in helping others reaps much reward. We champion each other, acknowledging wins and giving help when needed. Book launches are a great place to support community and build it. Julie Modra, one of our members, launched her book, Oscar was Here, at the Mad Hatter’s Bookshop last weekend. It was a great occasion and an opportunity to mingle.

Julie Modra at Mad Hatter's Bookshop

 

Wider community again is the Omega Writer’s conference that brings people together from Australia and New Zealand. Many of these occasions have equipped me with new skills, corrected bad habits and warmed me with great fellowship. There are many similar conferences from other Writers Centres, but I really enjoy the Christian fellowship.

A team of contributers celebrating Mosaic of Grace. 

Anthologies develop from community. Tabor College in Adelaide have printed one every year for ten years. There are many books on my shelf where my writing is published.  Keep your eyes open. There are lots of anthologies where your short works can be highlighted. I’m thankful for the community that works together to produce top quality books.

 

How do you find a group? I’d start on Facebook or similar sites. Join groups. Become a member of Omega Writers. And ask the simple question… Does anyone live near me? Join an online group like Grace Writers. Just hunt until you find your family

 

And remember a Christian is never alone. We carry the Holy Spirit within and he’s a great source of creative ideas and fellowship. 

Jo Wanmer lives on the northern outskirts of Brisbane with her husband of 55 years, Steve, and a lively needy toy poodle called Barclay. She is used to dodging him on her knee as she writes.She is excited to see her book El Roi named as a finalist in Caleb Christian fiction awards this year. Her book El Shaddai is leading a series. It is followed by El Roi, and El Gibbor is with the publisher. Two more books in the series are on the computer. Exciting books written with Holy Spirit as co-author.