From around the year 2000 for roughly seven years, I experienced what my hubby calls a 'brass heaven,' or what I called disappointment with God - and it had nothing to do with writing. The Lord didn't answer my prayers the way I wanted Him to and I became very discouraged, to the point I found it hard to speak to Him (in any kind of deep and personal way). It is hard to explain in a few words, but I felt as though God had let me down. My relationship with the Lord had once been amazing, a giddy kind of romance, but then it all disappeared. A phrase in my head at the time was "oh the heights from which I've fallen." (I now know this was all me of course, God is perfect.)
When it comes to writing, I am a detailed plotter. I plan out characters and chapters, everything, before I start to write. However, in early 2009 an idea hit me so powerfully that I sat down at my computer with my bible and just started typing. Over the course of a year I wrote a whole manuscript and it seemed as though the Lord was speaking to me, waking me up, reshaping my thinking.
It is not a 'Christian Living' book. It is not even non-fiction. It is purely medieval fantasy romance, but it is allegorical in nature. The writing of this manuscript transformed my life and I will never be the same. I learned things about the grace and love of God that fundamentally changed my character.
All throughout that year, everything pointed to this story. The songs on the radio. Sermons preached. God was working in my heart and mind in a very profound way.
You can imagine therefore that this manuscript is closer to my heart than anything else I've written, as though pieces of my soul are stitched in the pages. Funnily enough, it is the one I have the most trouble getting published. I am looking at a complete re-write. But, I have no peace about re-writing. So, I wait.
I wait on the Lord to give me direction. He will bring it to pass in time. He will give me a nudge, or an idea. I am not discouraged or disappointed about the rejections. Ironically, if I had never written this story, I would not be so at peace with the process. And if it never sees the light of publication, so be it. It has done its job in me. Or rather, He has done His work in me.
Have you ever written anything which God has used to teach you?
Amanda Deed resides in the south-eastern suburbs of Melbourne where she fills her time with work, raising a family, church activities and writing historical romance novels. Her new novel, Ellenvale Gold was released at the beginning of November, 2011. For more information, see:
http://www.amandadeed.com.au/
http://amanderings.wordpress.com/
Amanda Deed resides in the south-eastern suburbs of Melbourne where she fills her time with work, raising a family, church activities and writing historical romance novels. Her new novel, Ellenvale Gold was released at the beginning of November, 2011. For more information, see:
http://www.amandadeed.com.au/
http://amanderings.wordpress.com/
