Looking but Letting Go

by Anusha Atukorala

I was rushing through the shops. Visitors were due for lunch that day. I’d planned to spend one hour at the shopping centre, then return home to add the last minute trimmings to my luncheon table before my guests got in. As I strode past my favourite clothing shop, I noticed a sale was on. Just a quick look, I told myself. A red jumper grabbed my attention, especially because it was less than half price. I tried it on. It fitted perfectly.

The truth was that I should not have been buying any clothes that day. 1) I didn’t have any extra time to check them out and 2) I needed to be careful about my spending. My beloved had given me a generous cash gift for our special Anniversary a few weeks before. However, one trip to my favourite bookshop and a good portion of it was swallowed up by a DVD (The Case for Christ), a book (Beauty will save the world by Brian Zahnd) and a worship CD. The $20 left, I’d planned to give away. That day though, temptation yanked me hard like a toddler’s tug on his mother’s skirt. I had a little chat with my Heavenly Father

“I won’t get another jumper at this price, Lord’

“Do you need it?”

“Well no, but … I don’t have this colour!’

“But red isn’t your favourite colour.’

“I know … but doesn’t it look good on me Lord?’

No response.

I knew what I had to do. You will be proud of me. I did it—I placed the jumper on the rack and walked away. It’s a skill God’s been teaching me over the last few years. I’m finally able to glance at what’s on offer but to choose to say ‘No’, even when sorely tempted. The world does have a lot of attractive specials of all kinds on offer. Have you noticed?

As a Christian Writer I don’t have a supervisor breathing down my neck—it’s just me alone with my computer. But how accountable am I to my invisible but ever present Boss—God  Himself?

Here are a few issues I’ve needed to think about and work out with godly wisdom.

1. Keeping my daily Time with God sacred and as my top priority
2. Writing not what I want to write but that which God asks of me
3. Remembering to ask His help when I write that which comes effortlessly
4. Soaking up the praise I receive versus giving God the glory
5. Being willing to give up my writing time for the good of others, when required
6. Remembering it’s not all about me—hooray for other writers’ successes
7. Choosing only essentials from a writer’s tasks to live a God-breathed life
8. Being a Disciple of Jesus first and a Writer second
9. Being more than Doing in a frenzied, fast-paced, frantic world
10. Letting go of good opinions of others to be a passionate God-pleaser

Life with God is an exciting adventure but sometimes a part of that adventure is giving up the good for what’s best. Sacrifice is never easy is it? And then … there are other times. Two years ago I went to Sri Lanka to attend a sad event—my beloved Mama’s funeral. As I talked to those who’d come to pay their respects, I met the former Captain of my Girl Guide troop, a lovely woman. She told me that Mum had promised to write an article for the Girl Guide Centenary anniversary in 2017. She asked if I would write it instead. Of course I said ‘Yes’ at once. If she’d asked me to jump off a bridge for mum, I’d have done that too. Back home, a few months later, when I recollected my promise, I had second thoughts. Could I do it? A few dozen riotous butterflies fluttered inside of me, having a field day.

The year 2017 arrived and remembering my promise … I checked on that Girl Guide article I was meant to write. I was relieved to discover it wasn’t needed after all. A reprieve. Yay! Sometimes God takes us to Mount Moriah like He did with Abraham and tests us. Are we willing to say ‘Yes’ no matter what the cost? I was so glad I had said ‘Yes’, (especially now it wasn’t needed)! At other times God asks us to say ‘No’ to what we’d like, in order to say “Yes’ to what He has planned for us.

Is there something God is asking of you today?

Or ... is there something He's been asking you to let go of?

What are the lessons you’ve been learning of late on your writing journey? I'd love to hear about them.

Anusha’s been on many interesting detours in life, as a lab technician, a computer programmer, a full time Mum, a full time volunteer, a charity director, a full time job chaser, until one golden day (or was it a dark moonless night?) God tapped her on her shoulder and called her to write for Him. She has never recovered from the joy it brought her. She loves to see others enjoying life with Jesus and does her mite to hurry the process in her world. The goodness of God is her theme song through each season, as she dances in the rain with Jesus. Please stop by at her website to say G’day to her. She’d love to see you there. Dancing in the Rain

Her first book Enjoying the Journey contains 75 little God stories that will bring you closer to your Creator. All going well, her second book will be published in 2018 – ‘Dancing in the Rain – Words of comfort and hope for a sad heart’. Stay tuned!

It's not about me

There I was trying to get my dinner started. I was also about to wave goodbye to my man as he went to the gym that evening. I hurriedly wiped my hands on my kitchen towel and scurried to the front door to kiss him goodbye. As Shan reached the door however, he stopped short. He’d forgotten his bottle of water. Oh! I went back to the kitchen while he filled his bottle with water. A minute later he was off. I left my lentil curry gurgling merrily on the stove as I returned to the front door.

He kissed me goodbye and walked out. But…. a minute later, he turned back again. What was it this time? His phone. Oh. I shook my head slowly. Hmmm…! This time I waited at the front door till he returned with his phone. I smiled and waved goodbye to my hard working man as he reversed out of the garage. Then I rushed back to the lentil curry on the stove before it overflowed.

Does that sound familiar? It happens often in our home. Not just when my husband goes out but when I go out as well. Many times I’ve had an annoyed son open the door for me when I’ve had to return quickly (after I’ve gone out), because I have forgotten something. As irritating as it is to him when I do that – I’m sure he knows that I’m not doing it on purpose. And likewise – of course I know my husband doesn’t do it to rub me the wrong way either. He’s a busy man with much to remember – so it’s not surprising that he forgets a few things now and then. After all, we are both on the right side of 50!

It makes me ponder on other situations. Like when someone says something mean to me. Or treats me badly. I know that it’s often nothing to do with me. And all to do with them. Perhaps they had a bad day and they have taken it out on me. Or they are hurting over a difficult circumstance. And don’t realise how they sound. It’s a good idea not to take everything personally. Because very often, contrary to what it seems…. it’s not about me.

What about our writing? Do we take the ups and downs of a writer’s life too seriously? I’m sure I do. The rejection from a Publisher is not about me. But about my work which could improve. The seemingly harsh words from my critique group are said in love – to help me improve my writing – not to bring me down. The sparse number of likes or comments on my blog is not a rejection – simply that people have been too busy to read it. It’s not about me.

Recently after I’d posted my blog, I had lots of positive feedback from my blog contact list, 23 likes on the blog, 10 likes on Facebook….. all of which caused me to get dizzy with delight. I’d never had 23 likes on a post before. I must have done something right.

And so, the next week, I eagerly checked how many likes I’d got on my next blog post. Had be at least 10, right? Wrong. I had only 2 measly likes on my latest blog. I could not believe it. I felt sad for a little while. But after some thought and reflection, I started to laugh at myself. Perhaps it was a good thing I’d received only 2 likes that time. I’d asked God to keep me humble. Maybe He was answering that prayer.

I realised that I became so excited about those 23 likes that I’d forgotten my original motivation to write my blogs in the first place. It was to inspire, encourage and bless others. Who cared how many likes I had? If I had touched one heart or blessed one person it would be enough. It is not all about me. That’s for sure.

Am I puffed up and full of myself? As a Christian writer – it is not all about me. It is all about God. And His kingdom. Am I seeing His perspective? Or has the god of this world blinded me to seek for results that lift me up? Shouldn’t I rather look to please God and to walk in His ways? To follow His plans for me. It’s only too easy to get off track, isn’t it?

Am I doing what God requires of me? That is the question.

Writing is a big part of my reason for living. I love to write – to inspire, to encourage, to challenge, to bless. I hope I will publish lots of books; and become a Writer after God’s heart. But let me not forget… it is not about me. It is all about God. And His Kingdom.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” Mathew 6:33



Anusha loves life. She is passionate about Jesus and the difference He has made in her life. Writing is one of the many things she loves to do. Invigorating walks on cold winter evenings, connecting with family and friends, writing contentedly at her computer, connecting with people, singing and making music, sharing the love of Jesus – these are some of her passions. Do drop in at her website to visit her – Dancing in the Rain. http://anusha-atukorala.webnode.com/