You have to be there

I was giggling at my computer this afternoon. Real throat chuckles with a couple of good snorts thrown in.

My husband, sitting out of sight, could hear me.

“What is it?” he asked.

I tried, between breathless guffaws to describe the video clip I’d just watched.

“…And then he kind of let go of the ball and the whole thing went into the ceiling… ha ha ha!” Tears of laughter ran down my face, but my husband seemed unmoved.

“Huh,” he said. “Guess you had to be there.”

I didn’t answer him. Actually, I couldn’t. By this time I had slid off my chair and was writhing on the floor. (Yes, I’m committed to my humour. When something’s really funny and I’m with other people I have to leave the room or risk embarrassing myself by being unable to control my giggle reactions.)

Finally, my husband walked over. I scrolled back up to the top of the list of ’37 Fails’ so that he could see the whole collection of clips. By number two he was laughing. By 15 he was snorting. When the guy finally threw the bowling ball into the ceiling he yelled with delight.

It turned out he was right. You definitely had to be there.

* * *

At the close of the day I’m usually in the kitchen with my mind on pasta or chicken or whatever-the-heck-I’m-going-to-feed-the-kids-today. One night last week my eight year old son came running through the back door, beaming with excitement.

“Mum, mum!” he said. “Come and look at this! You have to!”

“What is it?” I said, half-heartedly, checking the boil of the pot on the stove.

“It’s a sunset!” he said. “It’s amazing.”

“Lovely!” I said. My enthusiasm was minimal. I mean, I’ve seen lots of sunsets. “That sounds great.”

“No! You have to come and see it!”

He dragged me outside, reluctant, apron-clad and busy. But as soon as my eyes saw the palette of colour and light spread across the sky, I was uplifted, enriched and overjoyed. There were no words for the enveloping beauty my son had taken me to be part of that evening.

* * *

Here’s the point. You’ve got to be there.

To be overtaken by the joke and laugh until you’ve nearly wet your pants, you’ve got to see the clip, sit in the audience, be in the room. It’s not the same to try to picture what someone’s relaying to you. It doesn’t allow you to wince or cringe at the really bad bits or read that double-meaning typo again and again, giggling more each time.

To be moved and transformed by a sunset, you have to put your apron aside, walk out the door and lift up your eyes. It’s not the same to imagine a sunset in your head. It doesn’t bring with it the sparkle of the light or the gentle fatigue of the evening breeze.

You have to be there.

But what happens when you flip this around?

I’ll be honest. I don’t like hard things. If I could organise my own life, I wouldn’t choose a year of being bullied at boarding school as an eleven year old. I wouldn’t choose 30 years of constant grief and goodbyes. I wouldn’t choose to parent a child with a disability who for 6 years only communicated via impressive meltdowns.

I’d prefer an easy existence. Most of us would, I’m sure.

However, I’m also pretty convinced that most of us would prefer books that include some challenges. Where’s the learning, the suspense, the thrill or the adventure in a story where the main character has no issues, and an idyllic childhood, perfect friends, a snug, middle-class home and a lucrative career to boot? Yeah. Boring.

To be a good, even a great writer, you’ve got to create challenges for your characters.

It’s pretty hard for me to create a scene where my character is suffering intense embarrassment if I’ve never been embarrassed. It’s difficult to write about bullying if I’ve never been bullied. It’s impossible to write the deep, dark nights of the soul if I’ve never had to claw my way out of depression.

To write well, I’ve got to have been there. Or at least close to there.

* * *

God’s a writer.

And here’s the question. Is it fair for us to expect him, the master author, to create boring stories for our lives?

Yes, I’ve whinged (often and long) about the challenges in my life. I’ve been cranky, bitter and self-pitying about them. I’ve desired other things and looked enviously at other people’s apparently happier lives, thinking that I’ve probably missed out and that (my personal favourite) It’s Not Fair.

Clearly a change of perspective is needed. If you ‘have to be there’ to understand it, and if you have to understand it to write it, I’m a pretty fortunate woman.

Because I’ve been there.

Cecily Paterson is the author of the award-winning memoir Love Tears & Autism. She now writes teen fiction for girls.

(Oh, and if you’d like to see what the giggles were about, go here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/alanwhite/37-people-who-failed-so-spectacularly-they-almost-won)

Failure was my beacon!

There I was, waiting at the traffic lights at the cross roads of life, waiting for the red light to change. Suddenly, the Green light beckoned; my Beacon. Only, it wasn’t pointing in the direction my vehicle was turned towards. No – I had to do a U turn to get there. And quickly.

Did I? You bet I did.
Was it worth it? Of course it was!

What a lovely surprise that failure was my beacon!

I had always wanted to write. As far back as I can remember. I was the daughter of two Journalists. Books were a much loved part of our household; writing was a way of life. I remember carrying around a notebook around when I was little, scribbling poems and stories. The desire to write burned brightly inside of me.

But life happened. And everything but writing took centre stage in my life for a long long time. My interest in the English language had begun when I was little. I’d spoken my Mother tongue, Sinhalese for the first 3 years of my life. The entry into school changed that. I began talking in English then. And with that, the wide world of English books opened up for me. I was enthralled.

However, my real foray into writing had to be when I became a Christian at 16, because that’s when I joined in with God’s story. Life suddenly opened up in amazing ways. Life with a capital L! God’s reality struck me by force – and I was plunged into a new and fabulous world of living for His Kingdom. 12 years of intense Ministry followed by 21 years of Marriage and Motherhood. All good.

On the study and working front, lots of non writing avenues were explored. First I studied to be a Laboratory Technician and worked as a Lab Assistant in a Girls High school. That was good fun. Next I studied Computer programming. I was enthralled with the intricacies and delights of programming. I worked for 8 years as an Analyst Programmer and enjoyed myself. Full time mothering came next. I revelled in that of course. What job could be more rewarding (and challenging?) than bringing up a child? Lots of volunteer jobs and lots of little paid jobs; all a perfect fit with being a homemaker.

When my one and only son entered High school, I decided it was time I looked to make my own life. So I began applying for jobs. A job that that never happened. Six years of job applications to work in Administration yielded just one interview. I was second in line for the job. But… I wasn’t the one chosen one. Yes, I had failed yet again!

That did it. That was my ‘aha’ moment! Was my failure to get a job a wake up call? Was God speaking to me through it? I went to Him. I asked Him. I listened. I grappled with it for days and nights. Yes, I heard His voice. God was opening up a different way for me. Not a boring job in Administration after all. Why not pursue my heart's desire – my deepest desire – the dream I’d always longer for. To become a Writer!

Had my hour arrived? I asked my husband what he thought. He, the hard working breadwinner of our household was extremely gracious. “If that’s what you want, go for it”, he said.

What did I feel then? A big "YES!" resounded from deep inside of me. This was what I have been born for!

And so, on January 10th 2007 I entered the grand new adventure of WRITING! I started tapping computer keys. With purpose. With passion. With enjoyment. My first Aussie acceptance came in June 2007 – Into Australian Stories 2007. A sweet sweet accomplishment it was!

It’s now 4 ½ years later, in August 2011. God has been very good to me. I’ve been published in the Australian Stories books every year. My 1st Inspirational book ‘Enjoying the Journey’ was published in June 2010. Getting there has been one incredible journey. I am presently writing book number 5 and greatly enjoying myself.

It’s not about me of course. My story is about Him. The One who created me. The One who died for me. My King, my Lord, my Saviour, my All in All. I am just joining His marvellous story – the story that goes on and on into Eternity.

What a wonderful privilege to be able to share my story with you. And to hear yours. He helped me find fulfillment through my failures – the beacon that pointed the way. And then of course He shone His light brightly into my darkness, so I could follow His lead and share His love with His world.

To God be the glory, great things He has done!


Anusha delights in life, the love of Jesus, people, the beauty of God’s Creation. She writes mostly for pleasure. She has decided never to grow old in spite of a body that is already defying her intentions! She enjoys the finer things of life including friendship and chocolate! Singing, walking, connecting with people and sharing God’s love are her some of her deepest passions. Like her writing, she is a work in progress!

Anusha lives in Adelaide with her husband Shan and their 21 year old son, Asela.