I walk into my home office and sit in front
of the computer. Everything I need is at
my fingertips—neatly arranged trays containing current work, drawers housing
stationary items in nifty little containers, a filing cabinet with everything
sorted into sensible categories, and a bookshelf that would put the Dewey
Decimal System to shame. Then the alarm clock goes off and I shake myself out
of my dream. Dang! My office is actually the one in the picture above. At least I had the good sense to move the bra
off my desk before taking the photo!
As you can imagine, having an office like
this doesn’t lead to an efficient writing life.
I know the old adage about ‘a place for everything and everything in its
place’, but that assumes you actually have a spare spot where you can shove
things as you find them. I have no spare
spots. I have cupboards and bookshelves
that have overflowed onto every available surface, like a lava flow from a
volcanic eruption.
I started sorting, with a view to throwing
things out and making room. But that’s
when I hit another snag. What do you do
with a Super Bunny toy someone knitted you twenty years ago? Where do you file a letter that gives
instructions for your TV appearance on Jeopardy in 1976? Should I keep the piece of embroidery I
started in 1990 and never finished?
Where do I begin?
Over the last few months, God has shown me
that my problem isn’t primarily one of being messy or lazy. Okay, well maybe a little bit messy and
lazy. It also isn’t the result of being
overly materialistic. It goes deeper
than that. Why do I hang onto these things
in the first place?
Two books have had a huge impact on me as
I’ve navigated these issues. One is Bill
Hybel’s book Simplify. As he notes,
‘simplified living requires more than just organizing your closets or cleaning
out your desk drawer. It requires uncluttering your soul.’ (p. 3) Whether it’s taking control of your schedule
and finances, making peace in your relationships, or finding work and
recreation activities that feed your God-given passion, a simplified life
enables you to become the person God intended you to be.
However, as much as I love Hybels’ book and
highly recommend it, I found I was still thinking of decluttering as a set of
steps to be followed. The message had
gotten into my head, but not fully into my heart. That changed when I read Lessons in Letting Go by Australian comedian Corinne Grant.
It’s a memoir that details how she developed a hoarding addiction, hit
rock bottom, and eventually took back control of her life. ‘Well this will be a bit of fun,’ I
thought. ‘She’s a comedian after all.’ I wasn’t expecting it to hit me between the
eyes.
She talked about how she’d emotionally
booby-trapped her house with things that didn’t reflect who she was or who she
wanted to become. I could relate to that. I’d kept a lot of memorabilia of good times,
but had also held onto things that weren’t good for me due to a mix of
misplaced nostalgia, wanting to please others, and not being able to move on
from regrets … and that’s just for starters.
After a day of sightseeing in a barren,
Middle-eastern country, Grant offered this reflection:
… a part of me wanted to know what it would feel like to live in a place as empty as that all the time. I imagined my flat back in Australia completely empty. No more hoarding, no more stuff, nothing there but me. And I imagined myself, fearless in the face of regret, fearless in the face of what other people thought of me. I lay on the bed and listened to that little voice deep inside me as it whispered, ‘Go on, jump’. (p. 166)
That really resonated with me. I’m not the same person I was thirty or forty
years ago. I don’t want to be the school
kid who hardly answered any questions on Jeopardy because she was afraid to
buzz in quickly and be heard. I don’t
want to be the Uni student who shoved her poetry collection in a drawer because
a close friend didn’t think it would be published. I don’t want to be the person who steers
clear of certain topics in her writing because it might upset some friends and
relatives. I want to be able to jump
fully into the life God has for me.
So, as I’m cleaning out my office, I’m also
trying to let God clean out my heart. To
date, I have one tidy bookcase, two organised drawers, and one shelf in my
cupboard that proves I never have to buy another notebook as long as I live.
The heart stuff might take a little longer.
Just as well we’re all ‘works in progress’.
And for the record, I kept Super Bunny, took
a digital photo of my Jeopardy letter before tossing the original in the bin,
and donated my half-finished embroidery to my craft-maven mother.
What about you? Are there things holding you back from being
the writer God wants you to be? I’d love
to hear your stories.
Nola
Passmore is a freelance writer who has had more than 150 short
pieces published, including devotionals, true stories, poetry, short
fiction, magazine articles and academic papers.
She and her husband Tim have their own freelance writing and editing business
called The Write Flourish. You can find her writing tips blog at their
website: http://www.thewriteflourish.com.au
