Showing posts with label longing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label longing. Show all posts

Monday, 8 May 2017

Remembering My Mum

MOTHER'S DAY


I want to celebrate Stella Violet Kinnear, my darling mum, on this coming Mother's Day. She is now with the Lord but still remains in my heart.

Did I receive my writing abilities from her? No. Stella was one of those active, on-the-go wives and mothers who didn't have all that much time for reading. But she soon realised I loved reading and encouraged me.

Her mother, Beatrice, was a real dreamer and always to be found with her nose in a book. Oh, yes many a time wisps of smoke came from the kitchen where a nice dinner was sacrificed to the arts. Thinking back, I wonder why my mum didn't resent that and make sure her daughter would follow a more practical turn of mind.

Stella was also an artist (from her father, Harrie Mackie Kinnear, a Scot.) It came to the fore when, during the Second World War with Dad in the RAAF, money was scarce. She actually made jewelry from bread! Beautiful little flowers coloured and baked in the oven. She also designed patterns for Patons Knitting Co and I was the recipient of lovely little jumpers, cardigans and hats. All this was enough to make a deposit on a small house in Oyster Bay.

By that time she'd become a savvy business woman and some years later she sent me to art school and began a ceramics studio in our backyard named Gymea Pottery. Dad cast various shapes of clay, and we two women decorated it with Aboriginal Art and Australian flowers and fauna. Then it was fired to the bisque state, glazed and fired again to 1,000 degrees Centigrade. It was a real hit with American business folk who were involved in the Kurnell Oil Refineries at the time. Many would come to buy and ask about the stories behind each piece. I loved telling those stories!

But similar to the book business today, the markets became flooded. How could we compete with cheap pottery from China? Never mind that it wasn't authentic Australian Art.  We closed up and gave the big kilns to Gymea Technical College. (They had the expense of hiring a crane and removing one of the walls.)
My darling mother was never able to read even one of my books, because she'd gone before they were published. That still hurts me, because in her later years, she too had taken up reading. But there's a lot of my life with her and Nan among the Aboriginal folk in my first book, Fire in the Rock. All changed of course in its fictional sense. And she would have loved my Victorian Trilogy, Signed Sealed Delivered, The Tie That Binds, & A Parcel of Promises.  I became aware my heroine's longing to find her mother is a part of my longing for my mum who has gone to be with her Lord.
                      
Everything can change in a heartbeat is my brand.  And the logo is represented by the little open heart. www.ritastellapress.com 

At the moment I'm almost halfway on a third novel in a series - late 1800s where each of my heroines are searching for something,
1. Recognition and fame. 2. A husband.  3. Her voice.

That is such a truism in all our lives. We are all just one heartbeat away from changed circumstances whatever they happen to be - wonderful or tragic. 
Is there any one of you who have been estranged from your mother? Please dear ones, change that situation before you'll have to live with regrets for the rest of your life. Forgiveness comes from God.

 Do you have special memories of your mum?

Sunday, 4 March 2012

There is something I want to share...


chapel, night, light, bill, god, jesus, think, church


There is something I want to share with you all, though I don't know quite how to voice it, I will try.
I have had this burning desire to share simple living with others for years now - simple living that is based on my Christian faith, for me that is Franciscan simplicity. I have a Facebook page that I share with my friend Ellen in San Diego. It's called The Simply Living Challenge. I will put a link at the bottom for anyone who might be curious. From this FB page is growing all sorts of exciting things like workshops - the Salvation Army invited me to talk to their women's group,  perhaps a manual/ book - because it seems to be writing itself (oh joy), an email note, a retreat and more.

What I want to explain to you, as my Christian friends, is the way that God is doing a work in me as I share my experience of simplifying my life with others. Radical, life changing things are happening. God is showing me that to truly be a light for others I have to be transformed - and he has planted a longing in me for that.

Our little Anglican church has it doors  left open during the day, so a few weeks back I went in there and begged God to reveal himself to me.I offered my life to him - my work - my everything. But you know when you do this you don't really think much will happen. You want it to but your rational brain tells you that you can't expect too much. I think sometimes we don't realise that he is doing the very thing we have asked because it doesn't come packaged the way we expect.

I am trying to think of an example to share with you of how he is revealing himself to me. Take this morning. I'm writing this on Sunday. I am in training as a LLM (Licenced Lay Minister). At this stage all I can do is sit prayerfully in the sanctuary, though I can sing with the congregation and join in with the liturgy.  I can't begin to tell you the peace I feel up there. Our priest is one of my closest friends and she and I have agreed that there is no hurry for me to do anything other than sit until I feel God urge me on to the next stage. So I am still and the process is slow. Just like simple living should be. Then I notice that when I sing beside her our voices sound especially lovely together (and she has noticed this too). I don't think I am a good singer but I love to sing. The singing is moving me and drawing me closer to God. It has dawned on me today that maybe the reason I rarely play music is because it hurts. I want to sing. I want to play an instrument, but I think I can't.

My priest friend lent me a CD this week. The music and words of the chants are the voice of God to me - and now I am playing the piano again (though it is basic - as I had to stop learning at the age of 12) and I am dancing again (as though no one is watching) and I am allowing myself to sing and to play CDs in the house.... surely God is revealing himself to me through the way he has wired me. Do you know the words of  Saint Iranaeus - 'The glory of God is man fully alive'?

This month on The Simply Living Challenge I am challenging myself, Ellen and the others in our community to   Simplify their Soul. Allowing God to reveal to us himself in our desires, our passions, our gifts seems to be the first step. Do you want to join us? To ask God to reveal himself to you and watch what turns up? Yes you are a writer - but what is behind that? How has God wired you and what does he want you to share? And what is it you have forgotten about yourself? Ellen wrote these words in the comment section of my personal blog - 'We forget to be whole sometimes'. (http://astalander.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/wake-up-put-on-your-strength.html?showComment=1330847641688#c3127562697635598784)
Could this be said of you? It is certainly true of me. Those words resonated deeply within me and made me cry.
Asta x
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Simply-Living-Challenge/123095097809075