LISTENING TO THE STORIES OF OTHERS

I just spent an enriching day immersed in the wilderness of a deep gorge, with beautiful waterfalls, cascades, forests and fauna. What made it significantly enriching was not just the wonderful environment but the time spent hearing the tireless stories of this area's custodian, geographer and eldered mentor.

Often as authors and story tellers we are more interested in telling our stories to others than taking time to hear other’s stories. This may be true of us as authors, but it is often also the case when we are considering points of view in a world that has so many. What our world needs is some humble listening to help us navigate the monumental changes and fluxes happening across our planet and in the intimate realities of people. People who Jesus cares for.

Jesus demonstrated great listening by giving people his undivided attention, fostering trust, and validating their worth. I love the story of Jesus' interaction with the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4). Jesus didn’t just do all the talking. He listened patiently to her, providing a safe space for her to open up about her life and spiritual questions, allowing for a deep, unhurried conversation. In doing so he circumvented cultural norms and ignored his own needs to address her shame, fear, and spiritual hunger. In like manner when Jesus came across blind Bartimaeus (despite the crowd trying to silence him), Jesus heard him, stopped, and asked, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Mark 10:46-52). Jesus valued, affirmed and ‘saw’ Bartimaeus so he could fully give him agency in the healing that took place. This was modelled many times.

Listening to others' stories is important. It is crucial for fostering empathy (listeners can begin to relate to others as they recognise that the messenger has feelings and experiences just like them (Colgate 2008)). Listening to other’s stories catalyses our connection with others and takes our relationships to a deeper emotional level.  It helps to build stronger communities by creating closer relationships, trust, and empowerment and encouragement for others to tell their stories. Sharing in people’s personal stories helps others gain new perspectives, understand diverse experiences, and promotes personal and collective growth. We learn from each other’s journeys.

My wife and I are “Member Carers” involved in the vital work of helping to support mission individuals, couples, families and teams on the cutting edge of community development initiatives and humanitarian responses. We are bringing much needed care to those reaching the unreached.  Decades of Chaplaincy, pastoral care, community development and cross-cultural service have produced our unique skillset to help bring this care and support.  Simply listening to their stories is one of the most valuable assets we bring into this space.

We recently met face to face with many long-serving and new-to-field workers in restricted access areas. They face constant significant challenges to their own health, safety and the effectiveness of their operations. The personal cost of service for them encompasses insecurity, loneliness, physical risk, and heightened psychological burdens. Visiting them and providing care by our presence and listening has helped maintain their active service.

Robyn Fivush (2020), Professor of Developmental Psychology at Emory University and the director of the Family Narratives Lab confirms these sentiments: “Knowing how to listen to others’ stories is just as important as being able to tell your own story. When we listen, truly listen, to someone else’s story, we understand who they are in a new and different way, we hear their perspective, their interpretation, their understanding of the world and of themselves. Closely listening to others’ stories creates a shared moment of compassion.”

Colgate (2008) adds another powerful reason why it is important to tell our own stories so others can listen: it brings healing for us and sets others up for their own healing journeys. “As we recall our own stories, we begin to uncover old wounds, hurts and traumas. We also begin to identify the ways in which we have tried to cover over or to deny our pain. Then, by the gracious touch of Jesus and often with the help of a friend, we can experience healing and release. This whole process of healing, release and renewal has tremendous impact.”

I have learnt over the years (with all the cultural immersion and care work I have been blessed to be engaged in) that respecting the culture and history of peoples requires a wise acquiring. This is empowered by access, understanding and actioning of endemic communication methodology and storying that requires listening, adapting, and adopting creative methodologies.

An example of this are my relationships with Indigenous friends who have welcomed me like family. When I was considering the recent musings and discussions of Australia Day, I took time to reflect on the blessing of interactions and family connections with many ethnicities (my family were  immigrants in the 1800's and 1950's. English, German, becoming generations of Aussies) and multiple indigenous embracings.

I remember always caring, sometimes intense 'Aunties' sharing stories, welcoming, praying over, calling forth my formative, eyes-opened, heart-responsive, listening and learning, loving and growing, going and journeying in community, family, mates and markings. Nows and futures. Together. 'Uncles' doing likewise with practiced hands teaching to walk and talk the land, gather and collect, hear and hunt, treading, trusting, braving, sometimes slow, moving, mustering, making, moulding, and mentoring.

Lessons of humility stand out with stories of responsibility and storied teachings of reverence, sacred ways of giving thanks, awe of life and spirit, Creator and created, experiential teachings of giving, kindness, caring, justice, mercy and love, orality, oral pronouncements and wisened sayings by meaningful adult interactions. They are oral in spoken words as well as in songs, in utterances, and the sounds of sight and sounds of thoughts and feelings shared on journey together, perhaps gathering foods or hunting or wandering with purpose together on an adventure, sitting in the dust around a camp fire and simply being together, and sometimes this means sitting in silence for a long time and simply sharing space together in the presence of The Almighty.

I am humbled and honoured for their welcome. Thankful for teaching me and helping me listen. To see. I am glad we can join hands with all our diverse backgrounds to journey into our future together.

There are many other examples of relationships with many different peoples I could share of the vitality of listening.

Finally, when stories are shared to listening ears and hearts, they are spiritually powerful:

“We overcome by the word of our testimony and the blood of the lamb” (Revelation 12:11).

It may even be considered to be a form of spiritual warfare as it is truth telling, helps to break down deception, and reveals Godly purposes, plans and prophetic insights therefore countering  isolation, judgment, and spiritual darkness. Honest testimonies and authentically hearing others, can help bring freedom, build hope and faith, and testify of God’s power.

Jesus took time to listen to people. Perhaps we can too.

Listening to others’ stories empowers their future story. I believe it is also a potent way for us as story tellers to have more powerful future stories.

My wilderness journey and storied immersions have changed my life. I hope your adventures in listening do too.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Colgate, J (2008) Relational Bible Storying and Scripture Use in Oral Muslim Context,

Fivush, R. (2020) Listening to Stories: The Power of Story Circles Story Circles build compassion and connection during challenging times. In Psychology Today. 

Lausanne  (2004) “Making Disciples of Oral Learners” Oral Communicators and Oral Cultures in the Lausanne Report (pages 14-18) Making Disciples of Oral Learners Can we in our day do for oral communicators what Gutenberg in his day did for literates? In Report from the Lausanne Committee on World Evangelization Issue Group  Pattaya, Thailand. Sept. 29-Oct. 5, 2004

Strauss, R. (2018) “Tell This Man We Were Sleeping” EMQ, October–December 2018, Volume 54, Issue 4, Missionexus Introducing-story-strategic-methods/